Son 8 years does not listen. Dr. Komarovsky on what to do if the child does not listen to parents. Errors in Epiphany

There is no such child who would always have listened to his parents. Even very good and calm kids from time to time "rebellious" and show character. And some children behave very often, than cause chagrins and anxiety at moms and dads. Famous Dr. Evgeny Komarovsky tells why the child does not listen to the parents and that in this situation you need to do.

Pedagogical problems with the eyes of a physician

Evgeny Komarovsky adds not only about the runny nose, flat-painting and other ailments. Quite often, parents lead to a pediatrician of their children and complain that Karapuz became naughty. Usually this problem arises in families where children have already been 4 years old. This is too late, claims Komarovsky, questions of education and obedience it is advisable to engage when the child turned 1.5-2 years old, and ideally - from birth.

The child begins to behave in opposition to parental opinion in two cases: if he has given too much freedom from his birth and if he often said the word "impossible". The task of parents is to find the very "golden" balance between these extremes.

Democracy in the family, giving a child equal rights with adults, leads to the upbringing of a naughty and capricious child, which will be hysterical and scandals to achieve their own if something has been banned.

Hysteria

If the child once tested the hysterical method and it was crowned with success (he got what he wanted), then, no doubt, the crumb will use this way to manipulate parents and grandmothers often. Therefore, if the naughty child suddenly began to arrange "concerts", with a headlet head about the floor and walls, shouts, in the literal sense of the word, before the formation, the best way is not to pay attention, says Evgeny Komarovsky.

If there is no viewer in the face of mom or dad, then the baby simply has no motivation to hysterics. If screaming - you need to leave the room where the "drama" unfolds, if it beats - put the pad to be softer and leave the room. For parents, this stage is the most difficult.

Komarovsky advises to stock patience, Valerian and optimism - everything will definitely work out if the mother and dad will be consistent in their actions.

It should not be afraid that the child suffocates during the tantrum, even if he shows the whole view that this is about to happen. Children, according to Komarovsky, often exhaled from the lungs of the entire supply of air, including reserve, it causes a long pause before breathing. If serious concerns appeared, you just need to blow the baby in the face - he will make a peplex.

Physical punishments

Dr. Komarovsky opposes physical punishment, because the child who has understood that one who is stronger, wins, will use this knowledge of all his life. Of these people who are accustomed to solve problems with those surrounding with the help of power, nothing good will grow.

If your mother or dad cannot solve problems with your child without the use of physical strength, this is a reason for contacting a specialist - parents need consultation of a psychologist or psychotherapist. And it is reasonable and correct, says Komarovsky.

Punishment options are sufficient and without a belt: explanations, why do something can not be done, temporary deprivation of certain goods (sweets, new toys). The main thing is that the punishment was adequate and timely: if the child behaved badly in the morning, and he was deprived of the evening viewing of cartoons, he no longer remembers that he was punished for.

Put the kid in the angle - a rather reasonable way of punishment.

A child in a conflict situation needs to be visited with you, without toys, without cartoons and other entertainment. Komarovsky advises to put the baby in the corner of exactly as many minutes, how old is Chad (3 years old - 3 minutes, 5 years - 5 minutes).

In the process of punishment, the parents should not deprive the kerge of what he needs for life is walking in the fresh air, drinking and food.

Speaking categorical "impossible" follows only when the situation represents a potential hazard to the health and life of a child and his family. Wire in a socket is impossible, it is impossible to get on a cold tile.

If the child just scatches the toys, then this ban here is inappropriate. It is better to explain why it is ugly, inconvenient, and why preferably toys still remove. Then the ban will be perceived by the baby as something really important. The more often he hears "it is impossible", the less he gives him the meanings.

By demanding something and argueing your requirement, parents must stand on their to the end.

T o, which was impossible yesterday, it should be impossible today. All family members must support the requirement, and not change their decisions. This is the excellent prevention of children's extest terricians.

If my mother teach the child to "catch" his emotions, call feelings with words (which is very hard given to all children!), It will help the crumb to pass through all the "age crises", which happen in 2-3 years, 6-7 years old and even At 14-16, when crises will be already teenage and serious.

The ability to express your emotions frees the child from the need to shout. If he does not know how to do this, then a cry and crying from his side is the only way to show parents that something incomprehensible is happening to him, no good, which he cannot explain.

In more detail about the rules of raising a naughty child, Dr. Komarovsky will tell in his program.

Eight-year-old children are already schoolchildren, but still in the transition period. At this time, they are experiencing their second crisis of personality formation, which is accompanied by hysteries, aggressive behavior, first deceptions and disobedience. This is a very important stage in which parents need to help their children survive all the difficulties, without closing in themselves and not moving away from the family.

Causes of children's aggression

What if the child has 8 years aggression arises? How to deal with such behavior and do you need to fight?

The essence of aggressive behavior in the attack. Such behavior suddenly, as an attack, is not structured and brings discomfort as an attacker schoolboy and the "victim" adult.

The causes of aggression vary from somatic diseases to the psychological climate in the family.

It is very important to correctly respond to the manifested children's aggression. There are two versions of the reaction - to be indulgent, calmly explain to your ever, in which he is not right, and disassemble the reason for his antics, or to show rigor. The second option must be used with completely inadequate behavior. In this case, it becomes aggressive it is impossible. It will form a wrong behavior in his son or daughter, which he will endure from a family to life.

What if the child often hysteriate?

Hysteria behavior can manifest itself in children through cries, screams, tears. For parents of hysteria - it is always a signal that their child is tired and he needs rest. The main thing is to correctly respond to the first hysteries so that such behavior is not in the habit of the baby. When a child in the breeding condition, the main parents remain calm, in this kid will see their strength and is aware of his wrong behavior.

If the parents do not respond at all to the hysterical behavior of the schoolchildren, it can become regularly - the baby is important to attract the attention of dads and moms.

If adults choose the easiest way to stop hysterically - they perform any children's desire, then very soon a schoolboy will begin to manipulate his loved ones.

Naughty child 8 years old: what to do parents?

Usually, naughty children are hyperactive, it is difficult for them to keep track, and they need a frequent control. At age 8, schoolchildren passes the second age crisis and it is important to understand that this is the stage of personality development and should be able to condescevement to disobedience. In order to somehow limit the baby's behavior by the framework, it is desirable to establish clear orders for life, the day of the day and family rituals. To trust some small tasks that seem important to him that he can feel adult and responsible. Usually these measures are very effective.

How to solve the problem of children's deceptions?

If you understand that the child began to deceive you often, you need to think about why he does it. In his world, some kind of disharmony appeared in his world, and it is important to eliminate its cause. Do not shift on your child, try to figure out the problem, show the baby that he can trust you. Create the conditions in which your daughter or son will not be scary to tell the truth. Perhaps before that you used too severe punishments, then they need to be revised.

Very often, the children of this age are deceived without a reason, they simply give their fantasies for reality. In this case, it is not in a hurry to punish a schoolboy, send its imagination into the right track. For example, start recording children's writing fairy tales.

How to react to childhood?

The confusion, panic and desire to punish - the first thing happens to the parents who learned that their kid assigned someone else's thing.

Remember that you should not call your Chado thief, do not compare it with other children, do not discuss his theft with unauthorized people with it, do not threaten to schoolboy. Explain that theft is bad. It can lead to loss of friends, and very upsets you. No need to scream, but it is important to clearly demonstrate that you need to pay for other people's things. First, the stolen thing must be given, and secondly, the schoolboy needs to be appointed to work out that he realize that things get to work for labor and other people's things without permission can not be touched.

In this article:

By 8 years, the mental development of the child already allows us to conclude: it grows quickly. Studying at school becomes one of the main tasks, the main activity.

Children may not love or love school at this age, but educational activities occupy a particularly important part of their lives. Now you have to change the approach to upbringing, because past methods on a matured person no longer act.

Be sure to pay attention to the fact that your schoolchild is already able to do himself. Scold and encourage it too correctly. This is the time when your requests begin to be discussed. I want to know the child why you ask him to do something, why now, and not tomorrow or in the evening. This is another crisis period of the formation of a person. It is worth just to wait for it. Set the communication framework: they are now needed.

Psychology and development

In 8 years, there is something that psychologists are called the Bunlet "Why". Now psychological development already allows a person to think about the cause of his and other people's actions. Children in such aged very want to defend their interests, fight for independence. Their parents were also so in due time, so this is not some feature of the specifically of your son or daughter. It is impossible to go about it, but also to leave the conflict without solving it is also wrong.

There is nothing wrong with the new child's independence. This is an imminent stage of development that you will pass together. Best of all, if you learn to put the boundaries, show: "This is possible, but it is already impossible." Now the best tactics of education - your correct calculation of the situation. Somewhere you can give up and you will not lose anything, but somewhere you need to follow common sense. It will be a "battle", where sometimes parents can lose. It will go for children only for the benefit.

What should a child be able to do?

If at 7 years old briefcase in front of the school folded mom, then in 8 years, the child should already be engaged in all school cases. Parents need to ensure that it is as separate as possible. At this age, it is necessary to:

It is impossible to postpone. Children very quickly get used to some style of life, attitude. If he will only prepare lessons, and everything else will do mom, Papa, grandmothers, then the child will very quickly learn how to live like that. No responsibility at this age, the psyche develops worse, as there is no incentive for logical and situational thinking.

Highly
Useful at this age is additionally engaged in languages, sports, music. Here the main rule - classes should like the child and do not overload it. The load at school is not so great, but children need time for recreation, games. If after school every day will be homework, and also visiting the sections, then there will be no time for rest. This is the wrong approach. Circles and sections can be visited as long as 2-3 times a week.

It is hard to sleep

The rule "will be tired more - will fall faster" does not work on children. Their nervous system is different from adult. Mom and dad work all day, get tired, and in the evening they quickly fall asleep, but your schoolboy does not live on such a program. Yes,
physical activity helps him reset the tension. For this suitable evening walk in the fresh air. The child may have a lot of experiences, questions - they torment him and do not fall asleep.

Install trust relationships: Communicate, talk, solve problematic situations together. If you tell me the solution, then the baby will be much easier to fall asleep in the evening. If he does not have the opportunity to talk to you, then thoughts will so be tormented. But many school problems and experiences can be solved by a simple conversation with parents..

Games

Age 8 years is the time when there is an active development of the psyche, intelligence. But this does not mean that
schoolchildren do not need games and toys. The main thing now is to give them the opportunity to calmly play without insisting on what it is "For small". During the game, children 7-8 years old model ordinary life situations, find solutions. This is an excellent motivation for the development of the psyche, because it is necessary to solve situational tasks, to find a way out of different situations. During the game, many talents of the child appear.

Study at school

Now this is the main activity of the younger schoolboy. Education and development become
the main topics for conversation, unrest and desires. Now many schoolchildren are very concerned about their estimates, teacher's praise. Not always this situation will last long. Many excellent students in the younger school are indifferent to their studies in the future. Support interest - the task is not only a teacher, but also parents.

Now it says a lot about the fact that the system of marks is not the best. The child has no more effort to study, but to get the "five" or not get a "deuce". The purpose of education itself is shifted. Many children answer the question "Why are you studying?" So:

To
parents did not swear.

Because everyone learns.

To get five.

Unfortunately, if the teacher did not explain to them the meaning of the process, they think so. Such studies do not bring special results, and knowledge is forgotten after a few weeks or after the holidays. The main task of parents and teachers is to interest.

Do not require "to be adult"

There is a gradual consultation and development of children. No need to demand that this happens faster. Your neighbor has Baby in 8 years already knows 2 languages, reads books every day and wins at the Olympics? You should not put it in an unattainable example to your child who loves cartoons, does not always cope with mathematics and dreams superhero. All children develop individually. In addition, they can be successful in completely different areas. For example, when you dislike for mathematics, your child draws well, talented with a technique or a good athlete.

Demand to discard toys, games, children's classes and focus only on school - the wrong approach.

In 8 years, children understand that they grow up. They gradually change interests. For example, the baby can suddenly begin to be interested in modern music or chooses some kind of knowledge and wants to do only to her. Parents often paint the ideal development plan in the head. However, the ideal does not happen simply because your child is alive, with his interests, desires, opportunities. Give him time to sort it yourself.

Education

Study is good, but education also needs to be engaged. In your head, your schoolchildren still has a program: if you want something, then we are crying, because you can all get hysterics. It's time to teach it from it. This behavior is manipulative, and parents will very much regret if they do not stop him immediately.

Features of behavior

At the same age, at 8 years old, it begins not a very pleasant time of the personal self-affirmation of the child. Previously, the parents asked to do something, and the son or her daughter was requested. Now a question may appear "Why?". So, maybe: "Why refuel the bed, I'll be back from school and still sleep," why wash the dishes now, you can wash tomorrow, "why I need to constantly walk the dog, you can also". Here you need to treat with understanding. Your explanations will not bring a special result, the "smart" child will find another 1000 argument.

For a child you need to put a frame behavior. For example, in humans, visiting, in the store argue and begin "And why ..." is unacceptable. You just need to do as asks mom or dad. He himself subconsciously looking for these frames, needs them. Punish a schoolboy as she punished him before ( shout, corner, slap on the pope) Now it is meaningless. It is better to calmly explain that for the failure to comply with the request of the parents will follow something and that (take the phone, it is impossible to turn on the TV, walk).

To defend your interests, the baby can start performing your order very slow or poorly. Do not leave it just like that. Trace your execution, make it remake if done badly. For a child, this is also a hard experience. He already understands a lot of himself, even your actions, but still completely depends on you. In 8 years, there is a normal process of growing psyche. We'll have to suffer a little.

How to punish and encourage

Here you need to understand: from kids with whom your son or daughter
were before, they turn into full of adults. Your screams, insults will not stop them from the desire or unwillingness to do something. On the contrary, it is for an adheating person. They can already understand that there is nothing concrete behind your insult. With a child, 8 years is better to speak items. Explain to him what you want, what will happen if he refuses to do a request or instruction.

Sometimes it is worth making a compromise. If your schoolboy is normally feeding, but does not eat cucumbers, is it such a matter? You probably have a set of products that you do not like, and you do not eat them. Instead of fighting for cucumbers, put other vegetables in a salad. Or, in general, offer him to prepare a salad yourself, since the whole family cucumbers eat and loves.

The development of the psyche
Very advanced in the first 2-3 years at school. Now punish the child just like 3-4 years ago, it is already impossible. This can create complexes for him. Best of all Punishment Leave for the house, and on the street, do not do anything to friends or teachers. This is no longer a kid who does not remember his bad act.

If they scold and punish, then you need to encourage. From 8 years you can already give a child a little personal money. Small cash promotions will not harm him. But you do not need to "play" with this, giving money, and then selecting bad behavior or study. This will only lead to the distrust of the child and high stealth.

Conversation with a child

Try all the problems to solve the conversation. The correct development of the child is impossible without parent support. He must see in you no enemy, from which you need to hide your thoughts, classes and things, but your favorite parent and friend. To do this, take patience. It's not so easy - to watch how your baby matches. Yes, he becomes independent, no longer needs any advice However, your trusting conversations are useful to you both..

So you can find out what he really he is, your child. He has changed a lot over the past 2-3 years, which is studying at school. If you become him not only a strict parent, but also a friend, it will solve a lot of problems. In a difficult situation, it will always turn to you, and will not start looking for some kind of dubious way out of the position.

Seven-year-old age is a turning point in children's development. The fact that the child does not listen, hysteriate and snaps off, more connected with his transition from preschool to school status. How to understand children at this age? What to do in case of complex conflict situations? We will talk about this and many other things in this article.

Why does the child not listening to 7 years

The social status of children is changing, they are no longer some kindergarten there, and adult schoolchildren, together with this, and their behavior. The baby becomes more independent, but at the same time psychoed and capricious. Consider the reasons for such behavior in more detail.

Look at this video and find out even more about the main causes of naughty child behavior:

The child does not listen at all what to do

So your child is 7 years old does not listen to what to do? In order for this children's age period to be as best and easier for everyone, parents need to reconsider their relationship with Chad. An adult must understand that the baby at first is very hard at school and maintain it as much as possible, and not to demand exemplary behavior and good studies. If your child not listens at 7 years oldtips for psychologist:

again and execute the promised.

At this age, children perfectly understand the value of the promises and if an adult did not fulfill what he promised, the baby concludes that you can not adhere to your words;

refuse punishment.

The child is already big, he understands human speech. If he stumbled, it is clear to explain to him extremely that in his behavior is wrong. Otherwise, in the future, his point of opinion, children will argue fists;

talk.

Very often, the child does not obey, rude, due to the lack of communication. Chat, share your experience and mistakes. So he will feel not lonely in his trouble, that he is supported by the most native people;

direct children's energy correct channel.

To ensure that children do not want to run and shine, it is better to arrange their sports circle. Thus, you will help them instill love for sports, as well as to keep their nerves;

assist aid.

This will help parents get close to the child, to educate him with an independent and responsive personality, as well as increase self-esteem. Show how you need baby and that without his help, you will not be able to complete some matter alone;

first of all, be another, but only then the parent.

Usually, the child does not listen to parents at 7 years due to the fact that the latter incorrectly build a relationship model with the baby. No matter how many children did not have children, they need parent love, attention and support, to know that they are always listening, will understand, they will give advice, and not punish or crowd out. Support your child in all situations.

Hard children are the eternal headache of parents and teachers. With children's disobedience, somehow 99% of moms and dads face. And no matter how it seems paradoxical, but in most cases the poor behavior of children manage to win the first thing in the root revising the behavioral reactions of the parents themselves!

Most often, parents begin to complain to the doctors and teachers that the child became naughty, "beat off from the hands" and behaves badly, at that moment when this child "knocks out" for 5-7 years and he has already managed to " To finish "all your relatives - both close and distant. But the receptions of education, helping to raise an adequate and obedient child, it is necessary to start practicing much earlier - barely only the baby was fulfilled. Moreover, these techniques are essentially nothing ...

The main law of pedagogy of all times and peoples: Little bird does not control the pack

Perhaps most of the children's psychologists and teachers of the whole world, whatever the concept of education they have been promoted, converge in a single opinion: the child in the family should always occupy the place of the subordinate (slave), and not the supervisor (lead).

The chief law of pedagogy reads: a small bird can not control the pack. In other words: the child cannot subordinate to himself (with the help of his screams, hysterics and whims) will of adults. Otherwise, this is an obvious and terrible assumption from parents and other households may in the future harm the whole family, causing a significant damage of the psyche of the child himself.

However, parents should understand that "subordination of the will of adults" is by no means violence against the identity of the baby or the constant coercion of his will desires for adult family members. Not! But the child should be understood from the most young years that all parents take all decisions in the family, and that any ban should be able to defend unquestionably - first of all because it ensures the safety of the child himself.

As soon as this law of the family turns off "from the legs on the head" and the voice of the child becomes in the family dominant (in more simply: adults "dance under the model" small) - this very moment in the family and a naughty child appears ...

Where do "hard children" come from?

Before learning how to deal with children's whims and hysteries, it is worth finding out how and when generally cute crumbs turn into "difficult" naughty children. In fact, the behavior of a child in the family (as well as the behavioral reactions of the cub in the flock) primarily and the most closely depend on the behavior of adults. There are several typical and most common situations when the children are "angels" turn into "monsters", sitting down the parents "on the neck". Children become capricious, naughty and hysterical when:

There are no pedagogical principles in the family. For example: Parent communicates with a child exclusively against the background of his own mood - today Dad is kind and allowed to watch cartoons until midnight, tomorrow dad is not in the spirit and already at 21:00 I drove a baby to sleep.
When pedagogical principles of adult family members differ sharply. For example: to see the child's request to see cartoons after 21 pm Pope says "it is impossible in any way", and Mom gives good. It is important that parents (and preferably - and all other households) were united in their positions.
When parents or other households are "conducted" to children's whims and hysterics. Little children build their behavior at the level of instincts and conditional reflexes that they catch instantly. If the kid using hysterics, ora and crying can achieve adults what he wants, he will always use this technique and until it works. And only in the case when screaming and hysteries stop bringing it to the desired result, the child will finally stop yelling.

Please note that the kids are never capricious, do not shout, do not cry and do not suit the hysterics in front of the TV, furniture, toys or a completely outsider. No matter how small the child was, he always clearly distinguishes - who reacts to his "concert", and whose nerves are useless to "break out" with the help of a scream and scandal. If you "give a slack" and pose in front of children's whims - you will live with them side by side all the time when the child shares with you one space.

How to stop children's hysteries: once or twice!

Most parents believe that turning the "difficult" naughty and hysterical child in the "Angel" is akin to the miracle. But in reality, this pedagogical "maneuver" is not at all difficult, but requires special moral efforts, excerpts and will. And it is worth it! Moreover, the sooner you start practicing this technique - your child will grow even calm and obedient. So:

Old scheme (so usually do most parents): As soon as your baby fell up with crying and shouts, I fumbled my legs and fought heads about the floor - you were "whipped" to him and were ready for everything to calm it. Including - agreed to fulfill his desire. In a word, you behaved according to the principle of "I will do anything, if only the child is not crying ...".

New scheme (so should do those who want to "re-educate" a naughty child): As soon as the baby began to scream and "scandal", you can easily smile and go out of the room. But the child should know that you continue to hear it. And while he shouts, you do not return to his visibility. But as soon as (at least for a second!) The child stopped yelling and crying - you again come back with a smile, demonstrating all my parent tenderness and love. Seeing you, the baby will start to yell again - you also calmly leave the room again. And again returns to him with hugs, a smile and all his parent adorable just at that moment when he stops yelling again.

However, feel the difference: one thing, if the baby hit, he hurts something, his other children were offended or his neighbor's dog frightened ... In this case, his crying and scream is completely normal and explain - the baby needs your support and sewn. But rushing to comfort, hugging and pointing a child who simply arranged a hysteria, which climbs and tries to tears and shouts to achieve his own - a completely different matter. In this case, parents must be adamant and not give in to "on provocations".

Thus, early or a little later, the child will "figure out" (at the level of reflexes): when he hysteriate - he is left alone, he does not listen and do not listen. But as soon as he stops screaming and "scandaling" - to him come back again, they love and willing to listen.

The famous popular children's doctor, Dr. E. O. Komarovsky: "As a rule, at the formation of a steady reflex" when I don't need - I don't need anyone, and when I am silent - everyone loves me "leaves for 2-3 days. If parents hold out this time - they will receive an obedient kid, if not - will continue to face children's hysterias, whims and disobedience "

The magic word "you can not": to whom and why do you need banners

No upbringing of children is impossible without prohibitions. And on how correctly you use prohibiting words (such as "no", "it is impossible", etc.), depends more and the behavior of the child. The so-called "difficult" children most often occur in families in which adults pronounce the prohibitions "no, it is impossible" or too often (about and without), or do not utter them at all - that is, the child grows in full permissiveness.

Meanwhile, parents should correctly and carefully use bans when raising children. First of all, because the security of the child himself and his surroundings often depends on this.

From how adequately (and to be - quickly and systematically) the child reacts to the prohibition, it depends primarily its safety. If the baby rolls on the scooter, carried away by the process, and immediately stops the flow of cars, clearly and obediently reacting to the mother's cry "Stop, then it is impossible!" - It's a life will save him. And if the child is not accustomed to the "iron" to react to the prohibitions, you will not be able to save it from an accident: without reacting to "it is impossible", it will use his hands into the fire, pops up on the roadway, the tipping pan with boiling water and the like.

In a certain sense, the forbidden word "it is impossible" has a security property for the kid. Your parental task to teach the child instantly respond to the signal and obedient to him.

It is precisely because the prohibitions play such an important role in raising obedient children, parents should be able to use them correctly. There are several rules that will help them:

It is necessary to eat the word "impossible" it is necessary and only in the case (most often - or if the ban contested the security of the child himself and other people, either in order to comply with the generally accepted social norm - it is impossible to throw garbage where it fell, it is impossible to call and fight and t. P.)
The child must clearly understand that if something is forbidden to him - this ban is always acting. For example: if a child has the strongest allergic to milk protein and it can not be ice cream, even if it brings from school 15 "five" in the time - ice cream will still be impossible.
Bans type "no" or "it is impossible" is never discussed. Of course, the parents should make the baby in the most detail and intelligible as much as possible, why they prohibit him or another, but the fact of the ban never becomes the subject of the discussion.
It is unacceptable that the positions of parents for any prohibition disagree. For example, Dad said "No", and Mom - "Well, time can be";
Any "no" must be observed everywhere: and in Africa 5 years later - it will also be "no". To a greater extent, this rule concerns not even children and parents, and more distant relatives - grandparents, aunt and uncle and so on. Often, after all, such a situation happens: for example, there are no sweets after 17 pm (this spoils your teeth), and my grandmother is spoiled on vacation - you can use anything as you like and when it is good ... There is nothing good in the fact that in different places the child lives in different places rules.

If nothing helps

In 99% of cases of poor behavior of the children, this problem is exclusively pedagogical. As soon as the parents begin to build their relationships to the baby correctly (they will learn to adequately use the prohibitions and stop responding to children's cries and tears) - the whims and hysteries of the child will come to "no" ...

Dr. E. O. Komarovsky: "If parents behave correctly and unbeatable, consistently and fundamentally, if they preserve the spirit present to children's whims and hysteries and their will enough of the will enough for not surrender, then any, even the strongest and noisy , the hysterics in the child will pass 100% and literally in a few days. Moms and dads, remember: if the child does not seek his goal with the help of hysterics, he just stops yelling. "

But if you do everything right, do not react to whims and hysteries, clearly follow the above rules, and the effect never achieved - and the baby is still very screaming, demanding his own, and continues to have to hide - with a lot of probability you need to show such a child specialists (neurologist, psychologist, etc.), because the reason in this case may not be pedagogical, but medical.

The most important principles of education

The theme of children's education is immense, multifaceted, multilayer is generally difficult to perceive by ordinary people. Every year tons of smart books devoted to raising children are published, but as a hundred years ago, most parents are still in the face of the problems associated with the disobedience of their children. And these parents, when solving problems, a certain support is needed, some basic principles for which they would have to navigate. These principles can be attributed to:

Always generously praise the child when he behaves correctly. Alas, but most of the parents are "sinning" by the fact that they perceive the good acts of the baby as proper, and bad - as out of the rank extending. In fact, the child also builds his behavioral reactions and models, it often does not often exist "well" and "badly" yet, and it focuses on the assessment of people close to him. Praise and encourage his obedience and good behavior, and he will gladly try to act as often as possible as you approve.
If the baby is capricious and behaves not correctly - do not judge the child as a person! And judge only his behavior at a particular moment. For example: let's say, the boy Petya behaves badly at the playground - pushes, offends other children and takes off their scoops and buckets. Adults so pulls to scold in Petya: "You are a bad boy, you are a foul language and a greyhound!". This is the example of the condemnation of Petit as a person. If such senders become systemic - at some point Petya will really turn into a bad boy. Speak Petya correctly: "Why do you keep yourself so bad? Why do you push and offend others? Only bad guys offend others, but you're a good boy! And you behave today as bad - I have to punish you ... ". So the child will understand that he in itself is good, he loves and respect, but his behavior today is wrong ...
Always take into account the age and development of your child.
The requirements that you prevent the child should be reasonable.
Punishment for misconduct must be consistent in time (it is impossible to deprive the three-year-old baby of evening cartoons for the fact that he in the morning spoiled puzzles - a small child will not be able to realize the connection of misconduct-punishment).
Pissing the child, you yourself must be calm.

Any psychologist will confirm you: every source, including a child (no matter how little it is not), it is much better to hear you when you do not shout, but speak quietly.

Talking with the child (especially in situations when he does not listen, climbs, hysteritis, and you are annoyed and angry), always focus on your tone and Talk Maneru - Would you like to talk to you so much?
You should always be sure that the child understands you.
A personal example is always working much better than sending how it is properly or not correctly proceed. In other words, the principle: "making how I" brings up a child at times more efficiently than the principle "do the way I say." Be an example for your children, remember what is conscious or not, but they are in many ways your copy.
As a parent, as an adult, you should always be ready to revise your decisions. This is especially true for parents of children 10 and the country, when the child is already able to enter into discussions, bring arguments and arguments, etc. He must understand that the decision is always yours, but that you are willing to listen to him and under certain circumstances you can change your decisions in favor of the child.
Aim to convey to a child, what will be the result of his actions (especially if it is incorrect). If the baby throws up toys out of the crib - do not lift them up, and the crumb will quickly grow, that as a result of such behavior he is deprived of toys. With older children and in more serious situations you can just pronounce - what happens if the baby goes out so and so ...

Rast the obedient and adequate child is not as difficult as it may seem at first glance. Parents only need to analyze and control their own behavioral reactions - to be a kid with a worthy example, not "to go on" from children's hysterics and whims, willingly talk to the child, calmly extinguishing him who or other solutions.