Problems arising in asocial families. Family-oriented approach in working with crisis families. Social family function

In the Vologda region, recognized by asocial families with children up to the year will check the health workers or the police daily. The decision made this adopted the Department of Health of the Vologda Oblast in coordination with the management of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, reports CherInfo.ru.

"Lists of disadvantaged families with young children are not only in medical institutions, but also in ambulance. If the Brigade goes to the settlement, it will travel the family from the Social Risk group along the way, - Head of the Chief Department of Children's Health Department told Correspondents Tatyana Artemieva.

There are enough such families. They have cases of death of children. Therefore, a child one or together with his mother is temporarily placed in the children's office to isolate against danger. The child is in the hospital until the situation normalizes the situation. "

"If nothing changes, we connect the guardianship. We are trying to find the most gentle measures to minimize risks for children. Health is responsible for the infant mortality rate, but we cannot impact under the law on many situations, "the representative of the regional spokesman explained.

"It is difficult to say with confidence that here is meant by" asocial "families. pose a threat - commented on the message about the decision taken in the Vologda region decided the Director of BF "Volunteers to help children-orphans" Elena Alshanskaya. - If I understand correctly, we are talking about families abusing alcohol in which small children are brought up.

In this case, this is an attempt to solve the problem with completely non-suitable means. If they want to control the dependence, then this is "know how", of course. But then the situation in families could be checked not only every day, but every hour - if you never know, maybe parents go immediately after leaving inspectors? As those who have come up with, hope to influence parents who have alcohol addiction - scare them?

In fact, if there is a drinking family with a baby - of course, it can be dangerous. But there may be no continuous control here, but social technologies. It is necessary to understand what kind of family, why and how long they drink in it, whether parents and relatives are ready for children.

It is necessary to help people cope with addiction, help in medical and social rehabilitation. Trying to get rid of alcohol addiction with the help of daily visits doctors and the police - the original idea, but it is unlikely that it will work. Doctors, of course, could help mom learn to adequately take care of the baby - but, apparently, they do not see their task in this project.

It is also difficult to understand what means it is planned to implement this project. In principle, it requires significant labor costs that must be paid. The ambulance will not go to the village daily, and it is unlikely that all families will be able to bypass the precinct daily. If the Vologda authorities have a lot of extra money - it is necessary to build social technologies for working with dependent families, to develop prophylaxis.

Of course, families where there is a threat to the life of babies, must be on control, there should be a permanent job with them. But the social services should lead it first.

If the family is really dangerous for the child, if adults are not going to throw drink, and in a drunk, they cannot adequately take care of him and are dangerous for him - it must be transferred to adequate to relatives, and in their absence - in the reception family.

Of course, it is good that the protection of small children in disadvantaged families has occurred in the region. But the problem needs to be solved not with the help of daily checks and hospitalization without indications. "

In the families of "risk groups", as a rule, a person contradictive, impulsive, deprived of sustainable benchmarks is formed. To protect the child from the anti-duodagogical impact of such a family, to smooth the pathological processes within families of the "Risk Group" - one of the tasks of the school and the parent asset.

Differentiated approach in working with parents

First of all, it is necessary to differentiate work with students' families. This approach is based on the allocation of five types of families grouped according to the principle of the possibility of using moral potential for upbringing.

I.Families with high level of moral relations. They have a healthy moral atmosphere, children get the opportunity to develop their abilities. The frequent intervention of the teacher is not necessary here, although individual tips and cautions associated with the peculiarities of education at a certain age are not excluded.

II.Families characterized by normal relations, but at the same time do not ensure the positive orientation in the education of children. Children can be in the center of special concerns of parents, in connection with which the child is developing egoistic trends, which, of course, requires attention from the teacher.

III.Conflict families. Parents themselves cannot sort out their relationship, they are not to children. There is no question of any sensible education and speech, everything is burst on samone. You need an active pedagogical impact to change the microclimate in the family, not to lose the growing person in it.

IV. Externally prosperous familiesIn which confidencelessness flourishes, there are no true moral values, the emotional connection of generations is often broken. But some children are well absorbed by the family psychology of external well-being, so educational work with such families is particularly difficult.

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V. Dysfunctional familiesFor which rudeness, scandals, immoral behavior are characteristic. Such families require constant attention of the teacher, the public. And sometimes active interference to protect the interests of children.

The last three types of families are unfavorable. Consider the types of correctional work with them.

IN Pedagogically untenable family They are engaged in raising children, but with unlawful approaches to education, helplessness in building relationships with children. The main goal of the educational efforts of parents is often becoming only achieving obedience.

Errors of parents

suppression, humiliation of a child as a person, unwillingness to reckon with his opinion; disregard for the world of children's hobbies and interests; imposing a child of comrades, friends, desirable for parents, and ways of time; intolerance to the characteristics of the temperament of children and the desire to "reverse"; The use of punishment that does not correspond to the severity of the offense;

depletion of emotional contacts with children; Pedantic tracking of each step of the child; Requirement of strict execution of a variety of instructions, instructions; One-dimensional interpretation of motives of a teenager's behavior only with a negative accent;

the unlimited manifestation of love for the child and the demand from him a response sense, which develops the ability to play adults, generates insincerability;

chase to obedience to the child at the price of bribe - promises of gifts, entertainment, pleasures.

IN conflict family Educational function is deformed. Living conditions may exceed the limit of the adaptive capabilities of the child, cause chronic mental overvoltage, which often leads to escape from home, vagrancy, creates a nutrient medium for direct desocializing influences.

Errors of parents

concentration of parents on protracted conflicts with each other;

severe moral and psychological atmosphere for all family members, including for a child;

an aggressive response of conflicting parents on a child, involuntary use of nervous voltage on it;

setting the baby by each parent against each other, forcing it to perform mutually exclusive roles.

IN asocial (asocial and criminal) family The child grows in an extremely unfavorable setting. Usually two forms of the desocializing effect are direct and indirect. If pedagogically insolvent and conflict families have an indirect desocializing influence on the child, the asocial families affect it directly - through the asocial forms of the behavior of their members and negative orientations.

Children live in an intolerable atmosphere (drunk robs, sexy miscompute) are deprived of elementary supervision, care, launched, physically weak, consequence of which is a bad mental state. For many children from such families are characterized by retreats of mental development, which complicates their stay at school.

Children often lead the "shuttle" lifestyle: after the next "educational" event run from the house, and then return, which worsens them and without a sharp position in the school.

Individual work with disadvantaged families implies several stages:

establishing contact with family members;

identifying the being of family problems and the causes of their occurrence;

determination of a family withdrawal plan from a difficult situation, the content of the necessary assistance and support from school, other services, stimulating parents to self-help;

implementation of the planned plan, attracting specialists who can help resolve those problems that the family cannot solve independently;

family patronization if necessary.

Remember!

Often, as experience shows, the establishment of contact with disadvantaged families is rather difficult, which should not, however, weaken the activity of teachers and other participants in the educational process.

Pedagogically insolvent family Needs the correction of the goals and methods of education, ideas about the parent authority. It is important that with the help of teachers, psychologists parents realized the fallacy of their style of education. Conversations, pursuing this goal, require a big clock, because parents are usually sharply experiencing their pedagogical fiasco. To begin the conversation should not be out of the exposure of negative problems, but, on the contrary, with the identification of positive. Analysis and awareness of the parents of their own pedagogical delusions is part of the solution to the problem. It is important to convince the parents in the need for a deeper recognition of their child, his psychological and age features, the nature of relations with other children.

In the work of S. conflict family The leading role belongs to a psychologist and psychotherapist. It is important to identify the main causes of conflict, including:

personal features of parents (high level of neurotic, mental disorders, alcoholization, extreme egocentrism, cornpotity, self-esteem, power with low intellect);

the crisis of marital relations, a divorce situation, causing increased tension in a child relationship;

a sharp drop in the life standard of the family, depophesionation of parents, loss of work, causing stressful states, aggravation of relations between spouses.

It is especially difficult to change the situation in asocial and especially asocial and criminal families . The sustainable crisis state of such families feeds the complex interweaving of socio-economic, psychological, pedagogical, pathological factors. This determines the integrated nature of the approach to solving problems of such families: the school is operating with the support of health institutions, various services focused on people experiencing dependence on alcohol, drugs, etc.

Spectrum of possible family assistance options that can be discussed with it are quite wide:

help in solving medical and social problems of family members (prompting parents to treat from alcoholism, drug addiction, somatic diseases and assistance in its organization; the improvement of children in the context of specialized medical institutions);

promoting parents in the restoration of social status (employment, assistance in professional self-determination, strengthening parental status);

legal support (provision of information on rights and benefits, assistance in obtaining them);

assistance in creating more favorable conditions for the life and development of children (placeing them in a hospital or boarding school; organization with the help of different structures of various types of logistics; facilitating access to certain social services);

psychological recovery of the family (correction of intrameal relations, overcoming the problems of family members' communication).

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Non-state educational institution

Additional vocational education

Institute for Remote Advanced Training

by discipline: General pedagogy and psychology

on the topic: Problems of child education in an incomplete family

I've done the work

course Listener 3.18

Dmitrieva Natalia Ivanovna

scientific adviser

to. psychol. Sciences, Doc.

Shelepanova N.V.

Novosibirsk - 2015.

INvedenia

In recent years, researchers increasingly pay attention to the specifics of the situation in our society of incomplete families. Under the term "incomplete families" are understood by such categories of families in which a lonely parent has a child with a child (children) of a minor age and carries for him (they) is the main responsibility. Thus, an incomplete family is a family with one parent and children. At the same time, the incomplete family is a small group with partial, incomplete connections, where there is no traditional system of relationships: Mother - Father, Father - Children, Children - Grandparents.

Family is a product of a social system, it changes with a change in this system.

A sharp public problem are divorces. Meanwhile, today there are many married couples coming to the divorce at the first collision with conventional everyday difficulties. However, there are such couples where one of the parties does everything in order to save the marriage, and the other side is only strengthened into the thoughts of its own exclusivity. There are finally a couple who are opposed to a joint life.

As a massive phenomenon, the divorce plays a predominantly negative role in the birth rate, and in the raising of children. First, due to divorces, the productive period is reduced in the life of a woman. Secondly, in the event of an unsuccessful first marriage, it may be much to move away the time of the first detection (which is undesirable and from a medical point of view). Thirdly, unfavorable relations in the family preceding the divorce can affect the reproductive plants of the woman, although in other cases this influence may be neutralized by the desire of a woman to create and strengthen a new family.

The divorce is estimated as good if he changes to the best condition for the formation of the child's personality, puts an end to the negative impact on the psyche of the child of marital conflicts. The family can live if she does not fulfill itself at all performs any of its functions, except for the parent. The family dies if she ceases to do that, in the name of which it is created - raising children.

Special concern cause young families. Many talk about the infantality of young people, weakening the sense of responsibility, on dependence on parents, which weakens the family. For young families, leisure problem is relevant.

Waiting for a child is a real trial for love, and his birth is a test for the strength of family bonds. Many marriages break down in the first year after the child appears, disintegrates on the initiative of men, do not withstand the exam by paternity. More precisely, men, the egoism of which turned out to be stronger than all other feelings.

The young man after the birth of the baby is not entitled to resolve from the care of him, should help his wife in her endless concerns about the child, otherwise he will deprive himself with many joys. Laying all the care of the little ones, the husband himself does not give her opportunities for doing something else, including home and themselves. With this position, in such circumstances, discomfort inevitably arises in the family. A man begins to feel superfluous, unnecessary, unloved, without suspecting that he is completely guilty of this. And as a result of the listed, her husband increasingly begins to fade the thought that he can change everything at his own desire. How? So break up! And then - again freedom, no worries, no scream, again, is a loved one, the only, well-groomed ...

With the advent of a child to a woman comes all-consuming feeling that often even the most beloved husband for some time he leaves her the background. And if this child is not from those who only eat, sleep and no special concerns are delivered to parents, but such requiring sleepless nights, and tireless care, and nerves, then besides emotions, he owns all the time of the mother, all hours of day.

It is clear that a person expressing discontent about not to sew a button or unlightened shirt, while the child is diverted from the scream, the mother does not get laid with feeding, are caused, to put it mildly, not the best feelings. And the young mother, did not sleep, which was tired, quite possible, will respond to her husband's claims at all, as he would like it himself. Of course, the wife could find other words and a different tone ... But understand it.

The ability to find a compromise is a very important skill. Frank egoism, disadvantage, child stubbornness leads only to the greater exacerbation of disagreements.

Incomplete families - phenomenon, unfortunately, rather common. Particularly often can be found in our society lonely mothers. Factors of incomplete families We looked higher, and now we will try to find out what problems are typical of such families.

G.lava 1. The problem of an incomplete family in modern society

1.1 Family as a social institution

The family is a social group with a historically definite organization, members of which are associated with marriage or related relations (as well as relationships to take children to education), the generality of life, mutual moral responsibility and social necessity, which is due to the needs of society in the physical and spiritual reproduction of the population.

According to the definition of a philosophical dictionary: "Family is a cell (small social group) of society, the most important form of the organization of personal life, based on the marital union and related links, i.e., on multilateral relations between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and Sesters and other relatives living together and leading general farming. "

Following this definition, it can be concluded that the family is a complex multidimensional education, which appears 4 characteristics:

Family - cell (small social group) of society.

Family is the most important form of personal life organization.

Family - a married union.

Family - multilateral relations of spouses with relatives: parents, brothers and sisters, grandfathers and grandmothers, etc., living together and leading the overall farming.

In modern society, the nuclear family received the greatest distribution. She may be:

· Elementary - family of three members: husband, wife and child. Such a family may be, in turn: Full (in the composition there are both parents and at least one child) and incomplete (family only from one parent with children, or a family, consisting only of parents without children);

· Composite - a complete nuclear family in which several children are brought up. A composite nuclear family, where several children should be considered as a combination of several elementary.

In the past two decades, in the field of family-marital relations, a number of negative trends have been observed, which cannot give this definition to fully fully. They are expressed in the following:

· Reducing the value of marriage, families and especially children compared to the values \u200b\u200bof material well-being and wealth;

· An increase in the so-called "frivolous", rash marriages;

· Neon understanding of some part of youth problems and difficulties of family life, mutual rights and duties in the family;

· The increase in the number of families with one child, which does not even provide simple reproduction of the population;

· Increase in the number of abortions and all the consequences associated with them;

· Growth of incomplete families in which children are brought up with one parent;

· Increasing the number of men and women, which can then not re-enter the re-marriage;

· The growth of alcoholism, which strongly undermines the family foundations and leads to the birth of children with various congenital defects and anomalies;

· Significant growth of divorces for ethical and psychological motives and reasons for the sexual illiteracy of spouses, and, therefore, dissatisfaction with the intimate side of the marital life.

In this regard, the state of the family as a social institution can be assessed as a crisis.

Despite all the changes that the family has undergone for all its existence, two of its characteristics remain unchanged:

1) Family as the Social Institute of Society. Society is interested in the family and organization of this social institution.

2) Family as a small social group. Family members are interested in its organization throughout life.

Thus, it can be concluded that the position of the institution of the family in modern society is very unstable, because There is a process of differentiation of family and society as a whole. Changes affect all parties to public life, including marriage-family relationships.

1.2 The causes of the incomplete family in modern society

The question of incomplete families is relevant because they focuses a significant part of the population, which did not have the natural and marriage living conditions laid down in the very nature of family-marriage relations. These are children, without a father (or mother), adults who do not have their own family and continue to live with their parents. Such a situation does not only complicate the most of them the material side of life, but also deprives them of a full-fledged spiritual life, which a happy marital marriage could give.

Family - Founded on marriage or blood combination of people associated with the generality of life and mutual responsibility.

An incomplete family is a family consisting of a single mother (lonely father) with a child (children), a divorced woman (divorced man) with a child (children), widow (widow) with a child (children).

Incomplete family is a small group with partial, incomplete connections, where there is no traditional system of relationships: Mother - Father, Father - Children, Children - Grandparents.

In other words, an incomplete family is a family where there is no one of the parents.

The aggregate of incomplete families is extremely heterogeneous and diverse. The sources of their occurrence were traditionally considered the widening (death of one of the spouses), divorce, extramarital fertility.

The main types of incomplete family are highlighted:

o extramarital;

o orphaned;

o divorced;

o Spaceled.

Also paternal and maternal families are also distinguished, the latter are the absolute majority among incomplete families.

The growth of incomplete families is directly related to the sphere of marriage-family relations:

· Changes in moral norms in the field of sex relationships;

· Distribution of peevers,

· Changes in traditional roles (family) men and women;

· The loss of the family of its production function;

· Unpreparedness of young people for marriage;

· Illuminated requirements for the marriage partner;

· Alcoholism and drug addiction.

Raising children in an incomplete family has a number of features. Due to the lack of one of the parents, the remaining has to take on the solution of all the material and household problems of the family. At the same time, he needs to also replenish the shortage of educational influence on children. Combining all these tasks is very difficult. Therefore, most part-time families experience material and consumer difficulties and faced pedagogical problems.

The psychological climate of an incomplete family is largely determined by painful experiences that have arisen due to the loss of one of the parents. Most partial families arise due to father's leave. Mothers rarely manage to restrain and hide their irritation in relation to it; Its disappointment and discontent is often unconsciously projected on their common child. Another situation is possible when the mother emphasizes the role of an innocent victim in which the child was. At the same time, she strives to excessively fill the lack of parental care and moves all reasonable limits: surrounds the child atmosphere of cerebral caress and excessive guardianship. In all such cases, the educational atmosphere of the family is distorted and adversely affects the formation of the child's personality.

It is also important that in the absence of one of the parents, the child is deprived of the possibility of a full formation of a stereotype of behavior of its sex. So, in the absence of a father, the boy does not have the ability to observe the features of male behavior on the closest example and unwittingly adopt women's features. And for the girl, the mother in this situation is forced to combine their own maternal role and the role of the missing father; As a result, psychosexual development is inconsistency. It has been established that most of the homosexual orientation people rose in incomplete families.

The researchers attempts were made to determine the factors contributing to the rupture of a closed circle of depression and hopelessness characteristic of low-income families and incomplete families. They found that in the case when working mothers in incomplete families had the work that they liked, their children had a higher level of self-esteem and a stronger sense of family unity and solidarity compared to those whose mother did not work either work caused them strong dislike. Working mother-working solutions have a particularly strong influence on their daughters who attach great importance to personal and material independence, the prestige of families and differ in school higher performance than the daughters of non-working mothers from full families.

All this does not mean, however, that the incomplete family is necessarily unfavorable in an educational aspect. These problems may arise in an incomplete family with a greater probability than in full, but it does not even follow from this that they will necessarily arise. In some cases, the psychological atmosphere of the family is quite favorable and does not create difficulties in the formation of a healthy personality. It happens on the contrary: in a formally complete, but emotionally unfavorable child faces much more serious psychological problems.

Thus, an incomplete family, although it is faced with a number of objective difficulties, but, nevertheless, has sufficient potential for full-fledging children. The parent, due to the circumstances of the head of the incomplete family, it is necessary to soberly aware of the psychological peculiarities of the situation that has created and prevent themselves to lead to negative consequences. The experience of many prosperous incomplete families testifies that it is possible.

1.3 Difficulties of incomplete families

There are a number of problems related to incomplete families to which socio-economic, pedagogical, medical and psychological.

Among the problems of incomplete families, in most cases, the problem of economic nature is particularly acute (material difficulties experienced by family). The cumulative budget of the family develops from individual labor income, benefits, pensions, compensatory payments and benefits determined by the state, alimony for children after divorce, gifts in money or things, products from relatives and friends.

Since, most often, the chapter of such a family is a woman, it is worth paying attention to the employment policy in the country now. Today there is a displacement of women from workplaces on the labor exchange or in the scope of low-paid budgetary institutions. The need for the content and education of the child / Children more often encourage women to be more active and enterprising in search of more paid work or additional earnings.

Recently, the list of social guarantees has significantly decreased and the level of social protection has decreased. A woman is a mother, raising a child without a father, must be responsible for the well-being of his family. Particular families are experiencing a special need, in which children grow with deviations from the norm in physical or neuro-mental development, and even more so children with disabilities. Many women consider education and care for children with their main destination and move their professional success and career to the background. At the same time, material well-being and often employment in two works removes a lonely mother from child education and care, and he is granted to himself.

Even the most caring woman in an incomplete family, physically does not have enough time to upbringing her child. Due to excessive employment and labor overload, children are provided by themselves.

Children raising in monorad families are devoid of an example of the relationship between men and women in the family, which negatively affects their socialization in general and on the preparedness for future family life in particular. Pedagogy evaluates the identification of children with its parents one of the main criteria for family education. At the same time, the child expresses the adoption of the moral and ideological norms of its parents. The implementation of this component educational process in an incomplete family is deformed due to the lack of one parent.

In the father's incomplete families, the absence of maternal caresses listed above is added, without which the education of children can also be full.

As part of educational activities, one parent is difficult to fully fully control the child and generally influence their behavior. Effective education is hampered by a number of objective reasons: the familiar triad in the family is destroyed: "Father + Mother + Children"; The main reason is excessive employment at work, not allowing to pay sufficient attention to children.

The following social characteristic that requires the attention of society to an incomplete family with minor children is related to the quality of the health of the latter. Pediatrician scientists exploring the level of health of children come to disappointing conclusion: children from incomplete families are much more often susceptible to acute and chronic diseases. The woman is forced primarily perform the functions of the material support of the family to the detriment of traditionally maternal duties of education and strengthening the health of children. Statistically significant frequency of presence in an incomplete family of bad habits (smoking, alcohol consumption), social and household and housing unpleasurities, non-compliance with hygienic standards of life, non-evidence to doctors in the event of children's disease, self-treatment, etc. .

Socio-economic problems are not inherent in all incomplete families; In any case, it is easier to be resolved than socio-psychological problems present in the intrapersonality and interpersonal relations of members of incomplete families, especially children.

This is, first, resentment, the oppression and sense of own inferiority that children may experience after the divorce of their parents. Often, children blame themselves in the decay of the family. Secondly, the feeling of guilt in front of children, often in women (since in most cases, incomplete families are a mother, one raising children), which is the cause of their hyperteks. In an effort to prevent the decline in the life standards of your children compared to children from prosperous families, the mother takes over the excessive workload, but due to superpost, in turn, can not pay them enough time and attention. Frequently, there are also cases when the insult on the former spouse, guilty of the decay of the family, a woman will take place in his children, showing cruelty. In any case, a favorable psychological climate in the family is missing.

A new category of incomplete families is common - incomplete extended families who are formed, as a rule, as a result of any social catastrophe: the death of parents of young children, finding parents in prison, deprivation of their parental rights, drunkenness - most often this forces the generation. Proathels take grandchildren on content and education. Such families, of course, have a low level of income; A number of difficulties are caused by the poor health of the elderly, their more weak adaptation abilities, inevitution to adapt to the realities of modernity: unfortunately, sometimes they cannot use their authority, the ability to control the situation, so often children demonstrate deviant forms of behavior.

Thus, it can be said that the number of incomplete families increases every year, the number of divorces is growing and, specific measures are needed to solve the problems of such a weselfected family group as an incomplete family.

G.lava 2. Improving the process of education in incompletefamilies and organization of social and pedagogical careincomplete family

2.1 Terms of improving the process of education in incomplete families

education Incomplete Family Social

In order to prevent the formation in the nature of a child raising in an incomplete family, lack of character needs to be observed a number of conditions in the process of upbringing. Performing these conditions contributes to the most effective educational effects of an incomplete family on the formation of the child's personality. What are these conditions?

One of the conditions is the authority and personal example of the parent. Under the authority, you should understand the deep respect for the children of the parent, the voluntary and conscious fulfillment of his requirements, the desire to imitate him in everything and listen to his advice. The authority founded all the power of the pedagogical influence of the parent on the child. But it is not given from nature, it is not created artificially, not conquered by fear, threats, but grows out of love and affection. With the development of consciousness, credibility is fixed or gradually decreases and reflected in the behavior of children. The educational force of a personal example of a parent is due to the psychological characteristics of children: imitativeness and concreteness of thinking. Children are not valuable to imitate and good, and bad, more follow examples than moraling. Therefore, the demanding control of the parent behind his behavior, which should serve as a role model to the child.

It is very important that the mother (dad) does not respond badly about the father (mother) of the child whatever it would be, since with time the child may have a negative attitude towards the mother (father) for this reason. On the contrary, a positive feedback on the father (mother) of the child contributes to an increase in the authority not only the Father (Mother), even if the mother is missing, but also the Mother (Father).

The prestige of the parent depends largely on the attitude towards children, from interest in their lives, to their small affairs, joys and sophors. Children respect those who are always ready to listen to and understand, come to the rescue that reasonably combines demands with encouragement, rightly evaluate their actions, know how to take into account the desires and interests, to establish communication, contribute to strengthening friendly relations. Children need reasonable and demanding parental love.

The second prerequisite is the pedagogical tact of the parent. Parent authority is supported by her (his) pedagogical tact. Pedagogical tact is a well-developed sense of measures to handle children. It is expressed in the ability to find the closest way to feel the feelings and consciousness of children, choose effective educational measures of impact on their identity, given the age and individual characteristics, specific conditions and circumstances. He implies adherence to equilibrium in love and rigor, knowledge of the real motives of children's actions, a faithful ratio of demands from respect to the dignity of the child's personality. Parent closer tact is closely connected with the tact of children - with a response sense of measures in behavior based on a sensitive and attentive attitude towards people. Initially, he manifests itself as a imitation caused by the example of the elders, and later becomes a habit to behave tactfully.

The third condition that is necessary in the upbringing process can be distinguished by the culture of life in an incomplete family. The concept of cultural life includes the correct relationship between members of an incomplete family, respect for each other, as well as the reasonable organization of the life of an incomplete family. At the same time, children learn to independently argue and evaluate facts and phenomena, and Mom (Dad) gives them a life experience, helps to establish themselves in proper judgment and unobtrusively direct their thoughts. Conversations with a child in a free and heart atmosphere create proximity between the parent and children and become one of the means of parental influence. Education problems often arise where the overall life of an incomplete family is not organized enough. Negatively affect the nature and moral qualities of children and remnants of the old life, preserved in some incomplete families: the wrong attitude towards a woman, alcoholism, prejudice and superstition.

Fourth Condition - Knowledge of the age and individual characteristics of children. Knowledge of the features of children allows the parent to learn how to contact them correctly, increases responsibility for their upbringing and ensures unity and sequence in children from all members of the incomplete family. Special pedagogical knowledge helps to develop children's toasticness, observation, the simplest forms of logical thinking, lead the game and work, to understand the causes of children's deeds. The awareness of the parent about the physiological and psychological features of young children helps them not only take care of the protection of the child's health, but also purposefully develop movements, cultural and hygienic skills, speech, activities, communication.

Fifth conditions: satisfaction of the need for emotional contact with the parent. In humans, as a public creature, there is a peculiar form of orientation - the focus on the mental look of another person. The need of "landmarks" in the emotional setting of other people and is called the need for emotional contact. And we are talking about the existence of bilateral contact, in which a person feels that himself is the subject of interest that others are consonant with his own feelings. In such a consonant emotional contact and is needed by every healthy person, regardless of age, education, value orientations.

The sixth condition is to determine the parents for themselves the needs of the meaning of life. Big problems arise in communicating with the child, if the upbringing has become a sole activity among the need that realize the need for life. The need for the meaning of life characterizes the behavior of an adult. Without satisfying this need, a person cannot function normally, cannot mobilize all his abilities to the maximum extent. Satisfaction of this ability is associated with the rationale for itself the meaning of its being, with clear, almost acceptable and deserving the approval of the person himself, the direction of his actions. Does this mean that a person always aware of the general meaning of his actions, his life? Obviously, no, but everyone seeks to find the meaning of his life if necessary. Caring for a child can be satisfied with the needs of the meaning of life. Mother (father) or grandmother can assume that the meaning of their existence is to care for the physical condition and the upbringing of the child. They may not be aware of this, believing that the purpose of their life in the other. However, they feel happy people only when they need. If the child, growing, leaves them, they often begin to understand that "life has lost all meaning."

The seventh condition lies in the need to determine the need for achievement. In some mothers (fathers), the child's education is encouraged by the so-called motivation of achievement. The purpose of the upbringing is to ensure that the parents failed to achieve due to the lack of necessary conditions, or because they themselves were not sufficiently capable and persistent. For example, the mother dreamed of playing the piano, but there was no conditions for this, and now the child needs to be intensively learn music. Such parental behavior unforgettably for him, the elements of egoism: "I want to form a child in my likeness, because he is a successor of my life ...".

The child is deprived of the necessary independence, distorts the perception of the inherent in the challenges, formed personal qualities. But he may rebel against him alien to him, thereby causing the disappointment of the mother because of unfulfilled hopes, and as a result, deep conflicts arise in relations between the child and the parent.

The eighth appropriate in the need to criticize the implementation of a specific education system. There are incomplete families, where the goals of the upbringing seems to be moved away from the child himself and are directed not so much on him how much to implement the education system recognized by the parent. This is usually very competent, erudite parents who pay for their children a lot of time and trouble. Having become acquainted with any educational system and, by virtue of various reasons, confidenced by her, they are pedantically and purposefully begin to her tireless implementation. You can even trace even the history of the formation of such educational goals that arise not rarely as a tribute to a certain fashion for education.

The ninth condition of proper education is to form certain personal personal qualities of the child. Problems of independence are exacerbated and in cases where education is subject to the motive of the formation of a certain desired quality for a parent. For example, parents are confident that their son or daughter should be definitely kind, erudite and bold. In cases where the values \u200b\u200bof parents begin to conflict either with the ageal features of the child's development, or with individual characteristics inherent in it, the problem of independence becomes especially obvious. When implementing a specific education system, when the motive of the upbringing, as it were, moves away from the child, the distance may be any, it is already determined not so much by the personal settings of the parent or the characteristics of children, how many recommendations of the selected system. But the problem of independence is clearly manifested here. It looks like the problem of non-free child in the manifestation of individual qualities inherent in it. Like this, the regulatory education of the ultra-subject motifs of the parent limit the freedom to the development of the challenges inherent in the child, complicate the development, disturbing its harmony, and sometimes distorting his move.

2.2 Organization of social and pedagogical assistance to the incomplete family in raising children

The purpose of social and pedagogical assistance to an incomplete family in the education of a child is to assist the child in the process of its socialization and the creation of conditions for its self-realization in society. To achieve the goal, a specialist, which is carried out by socio-pedagogical work with incomplete families is necessary:

Carry out activities to study the identity of the child and the people around him, analyze the influence of the social environment on the formation of the identity of the child;

Predict the development of the problem and its decision in the process of developing and educating the child;

Organize the interaction of all members of the incomplete family based on the dialogue;

Help to correct upbringing errors that negatively affect the development of the child's personality;

Help mother and child from an incomplete family to find and realize yourself;

Inform about possible legal measures to protect the incomplete family;

Assist in the field of emotional and psychological health;

To form moral and legal sustainability of members of an incomplete family.

The object of impact in an incomplete family may be a child, adult family members and an incomplete family itself, as a whole, as a team. The activities of a specialist exercising socio-pedagogical work with incomplete family, as with complete, includes three main components of socio-pedagogical assistance: educational, psychological, intermediary.

The educational component lies in the activities of the social teacher: assistance in training and upbringing. Help in training is aimed at preventing emerging family problems and the formation of pedagogical culture of parents. Help in education is carried out by the social teacher, first of all, with parents - by consulting them, as well as with the child through the creation of special educational situations to solve the task of a timely assistance to the family in order to strengthen it.

The psychological component also includes two components: social and psychological support and correction. Support is aimed at creating a favorable climate in the family most often during the period of a short-term crisis. The correction of interpersonal relationship occurs mainly when the family has mental violence over the child, leading to a violation of its neuropsychic and physical condition.

The intermediary component of socio-pedagogical assistance includes three components: assistance in organizing, coordination and informing. Help in the organization is aimed at organizing family leisure, including: the organization of exhibitions and sales of worries, charitable auctions, clubs in interest, organization of family holidays, competitions, etc. Assistance in coordination is aimed at the intensification of various departments and services to jointly resolve the problems of the specific Family and positions of a particular child in it. Affairs assistance is aimed at providing a family with information on social protection issues. It is carried out in the form of counseling.

Emotional family support should be used in order to mitigate the impact of the stressful event and mobilize the efforts of the family to overcome the crisis; Educational assistance consisting in providing information on the stages of exit from the crisis and the prospects of an incomplete family is supported by documentary facts. The effect of psychological support is achieved in individual conversations. In addition, an incomplete family can be involved in the family therapy and training training program, the purpose of which is to improve communication between members of the incomplete family and the solution of hidden problems that are found in the crisis situation.

The incomplete family has its own characteristics and social and pedagogical work with it requires accounting for all its characteristics: the problems of a separate member of the incomplete family are a common problem for the entire incomplete family; Incomplete family - a closed system, not everyone can enter there, even a social teacher; The incomplete family is autonomous in their livelihoods. The family specialist cannot solve all the problems for it, he should only intensify it to the solution of family problems, to achieve awareness of the problem that has arisen, create conditions for its successful decision.

Z.action

Family life for a long time, the parental responsibilities are divided between the father and mother, and we are facing unevenly. The most important care for child care and initial education of children lay onto the mother as because she is able to give more time to children than the father, and because by tradition, she is more accustomed to this, and by nature can make more tenderness , soft, caress and care. This closest participation of the mother in the life of children in their early age determines the moral impact on them in these first years.

Over the years, however, the significance of this direct care is lost moral role. Children begin to become more independent, are somewhat defined, continuing to need the help of parents and adults, but they are already looking for not exclusively material support. Children are individualized. Some are tastes and needs that the father satisfies better than the mother, others - on the contrary.

Educating - does not mean to tell children good words, instruct and edify them, and, above all, to live in human himself. Who wants to fulfill their debt about children, leave them about themselves a good memory, which would be the offspring of the covenant, how to live, he should start upbringing from himself.

Raising children requires the most serious tone, the simplest and sincere. In these three qualities, the limit truth of life should be concluded.

The purpose of the upbringing is to promote the development of a person who is distinguished by his wisdom, independence, artistic productivity and love. It is necessary to remember that it is impossible to make a child, but you can only promote this and do not interfere, so that he will work in himself.

The main grounds that must be kept when upbringing the child during his family life: cleanliness, consistency in relation to the word and case when dealing with the child, the lack of arbitrariness in the actions of the educator or the conditionality of these actions and the recognition of the child's personality with a constant handling of him as a person and full Recognition of personal integrity for him.

The whole mystery of family education is in that and consists in order to give a child the opportunity to deploy himself, to do everything yourself; Adults should not land and do nothing for their personal convenience and pleasure, and always treat the child, from the first day of the appearance of him on the world, as a person, with the full recognition of his personality and the inviolability of this person.

Thus, in order for a child who is raising in an incomplete family to harmoniously developed a mother (father), it is necessary to pay attention to his own words and actions, on the life of the family, to know and take into account the age and individual characteristics of the child, and on the basis of this, to build their upbringing system. Much attention should be paid to the formation of the personal qualities of the child, allow the child to communicate with the parent, which plays a significant role in the formation and development of the child. Provided that the father (mother) is not an asocial element of society and itself (herself) wants to participate in the child's raising. In conclusion, I would like to note that incomplete families led by the Father contrary to widespread belonging, there are no less than led by women.

L.itera

1. Mateyachik Z. Some psychological problems of raising children in an incomplete family / Z. Mountychik. M: Progress, 1980

2. Pankov L.M. Man and family: philosophical analysis of the formation of a culture of marriage relations: dis. ... Doctors Philosophical Sciences / L.M. Pankov - St. Petersburg, 2003.

3. Rashitova L.K. On the basic forms of assistance to members of incomplete families / L.K. Rashitova, 2007.

4. Syssenko V.A. Divorces: dynamics, motifs, consequences / sociological studies, №2,1998.

5. Frolova I.P. Philosophical Dictionary - M., 1980.

6. Harchev A.G. Family research: on the threshold of a new stage / Sociological studies number 3, 1986.

7. Holodova E.I. Social work technologies: textbook - M.: Phur estate, 2001.

8. Internet resource http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/ase.

9. Internet resource http://www.psyparents.ru/INDEX

10. Internet resource www.u-mama.ru/read/article.

11. Kiran G. Development Psychology / Kraig G., Bound D. - SPb.: Peter, 2006.

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