Unplanned pregnancy, what to do? Unexpected pregnancy recently wanted, now I do not want
Maternity is one of the biggest joys in the life of every woman. When planning to have children, both future mothers and potential fathers try to paint the waiting period and tooling the fetus to the smallest details so that in the end the child was born healthy and strong. Unlike planned childbirth, an unexpected pregnancy can become a big problem, because not all representatives of the beautiful half of humanity perceive it as a good, in many respects due to psychological, physiological or moral unpreparedness to the birth of a child.
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Finding the first signs of unexpected pregnancy, a woman, not ready to become a mother, begins to experience the most real panic, because the child's tool can have a direct impact on the future of the girl itself. At the same time, it often happens that a potential father does not even know about the soon appearance of the baby until the moment when the stomaching stomach is simply impossible to hide. The reasons for such ignorance can be many, but one of the mains is not only a girl's unpretentiousness not only to motherhood, but also to pregnancy. Moreover, not always such a news is perceived by a man with joy: according to statistics, a sudden pregnancy is not happy for men.
Causes of such pregnancy
In most cases, unplanned pregnancy is a consequence of frivolousity. In particular, it is worth noting that according to statistics, more than 50% of unwanted pregnancies are observed in the case of minors entering into the first sexual contacts. This is explained by the fact that in our country the lessons of sex education are a real "taboo", while comprehensive awareness could allow to reduce the statistics of sudden pregnancies among children of school and student age.
The probability of unexpected pregnancy rises in the case of frivolousness and problems with self-esteem. Currently, sex is one of the ways for self-affirmation. At the same time, the partner may insist that sexual intercourse passes without contraception, as a result of which the probability of unplanned pregnancy rises in several tens of times.
Another most common cause of an unexpected pregnancy after an unprotected sexual intercourse leading to sudden pregnancy is to abuse alcohol or drug use. Losing control of themselves, both partners may forget about mandatory contraception, as a result of which the likelihood of pregnancy increases, as well as transmitting sexually transmitted diseases.
Among young people there is a common misconception that interrupted sexual intercourse can protect against sudden pregnancy. At the same time, scientists have proven that spermatozoa is allocated even during the act of the act, which is why this method is only 20% effective.
A sudden pregnancy can be the result of sexual violence. Specifically, in this case, a woman who has been rape and discovered signs of pregnancy is recommended to undergo a course of psychiatric care and think about whether to leave a child.
One of the most banal causes of sudden and unplanned pregnancy is the relatively high cost of quality contraceptives. It should be noted that the price of condoms is growing, and the cost of more effective tools can create an additional burden on a poor manual budget.
Is it good or punishment?
Despite the fact that all women dream of knowing the joy of maternity, do it manages far from each. Moreover, some girls, having received a verdict of a doctor about full infertility, ready to give almost everything. Currently, infertility treatment is one of the most promising areas of research for doctors. It should be noted that in this area there is clear progress, but in most cases, payment for the full course is extremely high, and the likelihood that the ailment to recover remains minimal.
However, not for all people pregnancy is a joyful and expected event. Sometimes, a sudden news that in the near future the girl will have to become a mother, turns it into the very real shock. Such a condition is explained by the fact that pregnancy causes a sea of \u200b\u200bthoughts, doubts and questions. Moreover, the search for answers to these questions may be an unbearable task that causes the most real panic from a woman unprepared to such an event.
Is it worth doing an abortion?
Give or make an abortion? It is this question that stands to most girls, not ready to know the joy of motherhood. Currently, abortion statistics looks extremely depressing: annually, approximately 55 million women are interrupted by an artificial path. However, an abortion may cause complications, as a result of which about 70 thousand women who loving under the knife die from the effects of artificial abortion. Moreover, studies show that after the first abortion, each fifth woman becomes fruitless, as a result of which the psychological state of a similar category of women deciding on this step is worsening.
However, an abortion is not an absolute evil, since the child must be desirable and beloved. In the event that a woman nor her family can provide a baby of proper care, love and care, an abortion is the thing justified. It should be noted that about 40% of abortions in our country are made as a result of the unfavorable financial situation of the family. Another justified reason for the artificial interruption of pregnancy can be the threat of a mother and a child. Often, childbirth can cause complications, as a result of which not only the fruit, but the mother itself is at risk of fatal outcome. Consequently, such a pregnancy is advisable to stop.
The attitude of society to abortions is extremely ambiguous. Some believe that the artificial interruption of pregnancy is akin to the murder of a person, while for the second such procedure is quite justified. It is impossible to achieve an unambiguous opinion at present, but in most cases a similar measure is perceived extremely negative. At the same time, women themselves in most cases prefer to give birth, regardless of what is waiting for them and their child in the future.
Problems that may arise
If for some women two strips on the dough are limitless happiness, then for others - an impressive reason for panic. However, it is not necessary to give in to panic mood, because in any case, the birth of a child is joy. First of all, it is necessary to soberly think about further actions. Pregnancy can cause panic in several cases:
- Lack of a stable partner;
- Reluctance or unpreparedness of the spouse;
- Minority or too late pregnancy;
- The need to change its own plans;
- Nootability to motherhood.
Most often, panic sentiment is observed in all young girls, in particular, minors. The reasons for this may be a huge set, but one of the main is the opinion of the parents, because in most cases the pregnancy is perceived by them extremely negatively.
At adult, the same panic sentiments may be caused by banal non-responsibility. The child's birth can cause career destruction, as well as the complete exception of their own interests in favor of the baby. At the same time, negative experience of friends, girlfriends and acquaintances, who turned into sew housewives, makes think about what a woman will follow their example. Such a prospect is absolutely not happy, so at the time of the news of pregnancy, most young girls fall into the most real stupor.
At the same time, a woman may experience a fear of loneliness. Statistics prove that having learned about pregnancy, men escape much more often than remain, as a result of which the woman itself is and with a child in his arms. At the same time, the child can become the main obstacle on the way to finding a new partner, because not every man can accept someone else's baby and love him as his own.
It often happens that pregnancy causes a real fear of even married. This is explained by banal unpreparedness and ignorance of paternal duties. At the same time, the young man is really afraid of having giving birth to a child who can lose its own beauty or lose interest in the execution of marital debt. At this moment, the future mother needs to calm down, as well as pick up words capable of reassuring the spouse. We will not be visited by a family psychologist who can discharge the glowing atmosphere and "force" to think soberly.
Most girls seem to be not ready to become a mother. At the same time, it is worth noting that the maternal instinct is laid in a woman himself. That is why the awareness of happiness even from pregnancy comes in the process of carrying, the birth and installation of contact with your own child.
How to cope with disturbing thoughts?
Psychological unloading during pregnancy - the thing is extremely individual. One women are enough to listen to and gave advice, while other anxious state continues during the whole pregnancy. To effectively cope with the alarm, it is necessary to understand its nature itself.
In fact, anxiety is a fear of uncertainty in the future and is characteristic of waiting. Because of the hormonal rearrangements in the body of a pregnant woman, the feeling of anxiety is strengthened at times. At the same time, strong and frequent anxiety can deprive the future mother of calm sleep, and the alarming disorders during pregnancy can have a negative impact on the development of the fetus itself.
It is worth noting that in contrast to the planned, the pregnancy spontaneous requires close attention not only by the future mother, but also from its environment. In 80% of cases, the development of a depressive state is observed, to deal with which everyone got used to in its own way: some prefer smoking, while others are looking for an exit in alcohol. Putting habits can directly affect the course of pregnancy, as a result of both tobacco and alcohol, it is necessary to completely exclude.
Conduct with a constant alarm will help support from relatives and loved ones. Sometimes, a pregnant woman is enough just to speak out and "to pay", as a result of which an alarming state leaves. However, in cases where the conversations do not help, it is recommended to turn to psychologists. Currently, there is a huge number of psychological trainings and techniques to overcome anxiety for pregnant women who have perfectly proven themselves from the practical side.
In most cases, when working with pregnant women (in particular, if the girl "flew") uses cognitive-bihevoral psychotherapy, the essence of which is to try to change the way of thinking of a person to change the perception of the current situation. In 90% of cases, such a practice allows you to completely exclude anxiety and panic, as well as take the situation and adjusted under it, and also learn how to enjoy that everything is not so bad.
If this is your second child
It often happens that the woman absorbed by the concerns about the firstborn does not pay attention to his own well-being, ignoring such familiar symptoms. At the same time, to the question of contraception after delivery, most women belong to a clear neglect, throwing carelessness to the "natural" protection against spontaneous pregnancy with imaginary protection that the body allegedly receives during breastfeeding of the baby. That is why the news of the second pregnancy turns young mothers into a true stupor.
First of all, it is necessary to soberly assess your own opportunities. Sometimes, almost all forces, time and material resources, because of which parents begin to experience moral exhaustion to the upbringing and cultivation of one child. That is why the news about the unplanned appearance on the light of the second kid can shock and mislead, especially when it comes to young families. The emergence of the second can tritely "ruining" the family. At the same time, the education of one child to the detriment of the other is not the most faithful policy.
Parents of the weather of the weather will be happy to tell about the benefits of children close to age: the children will be friendly, school subjects are similar, and the older clothes and toys are ideal for the youngest, which in itself is a significant savings of money. However, the opinion of the doctors on this occasion is contrary to the opinion of modern mothers, because pregnancy creates a significant burden on the female organism. That is why warnings that giving birth to the second child is recommended not earlier than 1.5-2 years since the appearance of the firstborn - not empty words.
Almost all the forces of the maternal organism leave the formation and tooling of the fetus. The absence of a respite after pregnancy, childbirth and feeding the firstborn does not contribute to the restoration of hormonal background and the formation of internal resources for the positive flow of the second pregnancy. As a result, the mother begins problems with the lack of useful substances in the body. Yes, and care for the first child, making an amendment on the symptoms, sometimes it is extremely difficult, so during the second pregnancy it is recommended not to neglect the help of relatives and loved ones.
How to avoid such pregnancy?
First of all, the means of contraception presented in the modern market helps to avoid this. Among them are allocated:
- Barrier (men's and women's condoms, diaphragms and caps);
- Chemical (creams, candles, tampons);
- Hormonal (pills, injections, implants);
- Mechanical (plasters and rings separating hormones);
- Sterilization (operational intervention).
It should be noted that not all types of contraception suggest 100% protection. For example, manufacturers of condoms indicate that barrier contraceptives (condoms, spirals) are not a faithful means, because Latex, despite elasticity, can break through during sexual intercourse, in most cases it happens due to the fact that people ignore the rules of use, Sew it is not according to the instructions.
Any pregnancy is a gift sent over before, regardless of whether it was clearly and competently planned, or the news about the soon appearance of the baby came suddenly. It should be noted that it is to give birth or not give birth - this is the choice of the future mother. It is important to remember that the baby is a serious responsibility, so any pregnancy requires weighted solutions and justified action. At the same time, it is worth noting that to experience the joy of motherhood, in many respects due to health problems or other life troubles, maybe not every woman, that is why pregnancy is worth perceiving as a gift of fate!
Video on the topic Unexpected pregnancy:
The main, and the most unpleasant case of such a format is so squeezed "flying". This pregnancy pops up most often from any random roasting connection when everything you want is to have a good time, but certainly not to give birth to children. It can be any situation - a party in a circle of not quite familiar people, a trip to the sea on a beautiful azure beach or just a desire to relax with a pleasant person. You take off to the full coil and are confident that no consequences are waiting for you, but literally a few weeks you will find out the news, which in the first emotions sounds like the real sentence - you are pregnant.
What to do in such a situation? Of course, it is possible to decide how to deal with unwanted pregnancy, only a woman herself has the right, because, first, it is her body that needs to be transferred either pregnancy for ten months or the consequences of an abortion. Here you must make a decision on your own and no one has the right to specify you - this is only your life and your future. Excellent, if moral and financially you are ready for the birth of a child, and there are relatives around, ready to support you in this situation. But do not forget about the biological father of the child - if you still decided to give birth, he definitely has the right to know that he will soon have an heir. Such situations a woman should not be rapped alone, because in the process of conception two participates.
Unnecessary pregnancy in the family. Yes, there is such a thing that you live an unimaginably beautiful family life, but in the near future the child just does not fit with your plans - everything solves the financial issue here, and simply a moral binding of this issue - regardless of the reasons, the question of such pregnancy coming unexpectedly You have to decide mutually with your spouse - perhaps he will somehow affect your decision and you will become the happy parents of the best kid.
Violence. The most unpleasant option of unnecessary pregnancy is the "falling" as a result of rape. As a rule, such pregnancy is interrupted most often - the mother is afraid of heredity, but only a woman should decide whether.
Know that the nature of it is impossible - she knows exactly when you can become parents and when sending you a small miracle.
Everyone knows that according to statistics almost 80% of families, the stork looks unscheduled, or rather at the moment when his least was waiting. But it is precisely the beautiful miracle of nature.
So, you learned that pregnant, although I have not yet planned such an important step in life. A woman who saw two stripes on the test or result, overwhelm a variety of feelings. This is surprise, happiness, fear, joy, confusion and emotions like them. All these feelings arise simultaneously and be fighting in the head of a woman. When emotions will be happy with a little, the question "What to do?"
Unplanned pregnancy: what went wrong?
Let's start with the fact that the concept of "pregnancy planning" appeared in everyday life of our country's residents not so long ago: literally in the past century. In the families of our ancestors there were so many children as made it possible to endure and give birth to mothers. After all, abortions were a very dangerous and criminally punishable event, in most cases ending either by the death of a woman or her severe injury. And no contraceptive means were invented yet.
A modern approach to childbirth has changed somewhat. A man and woman themselves decide how many children they are able to give all the necessary conditions for a full-fledged life. But whatever careful calculations of the couple in love, nature will not always be ready to put up with them. And she sometimes introduces his unexpected adjustments to family plans.
Everyone else is known from the lessons of sex education at school, that none of the methods of contraception under no circumstances will give 100% guaranteing protection against conception. Therefore, the chances of there is absolutely every woman leading an active sex life.
I learned that I was pregnant - what to do?
If your assumptions about sudden pregnancy are not confirmed by the conclusion of the doctor, then it may be reasonable for experience and not at all. The accurate diagnosis of pregnancy can only be in the third week of delay, and the result is determined only by the results of the ultrasound.
One is only positive can not be evidence of unscheduled pregnancy. 
Tests often give a false positive result, especially if a woman takes hormonal contraceptives.
The delay itself is also caused by hormonal failures in the body. And many first signs of pregnancy have a rather blurred character, so if you can always find them, they can be found.
In the event that unplanned pregnancy has been confirmed, you should
Calm down and calmly, without panic, look at the situation.
Before taking a hasty decision about, consider all aspects of this situation. Even if initially you do not consider pregnancy conservation. It is desirable if you do it alone, and no one will influence your thoughts, guided by only our own interests.
Any female consultation or private clinic can offer you various types of abortion. But, going to this operation, a woman should understand that all real consequences will be only under her personal responsibility.
No doctor can guarantee you to have children in the future. Especially if a woman never gave birth to an abortion.
Remember that the adoption of such a situation and the taking of responsibility for the life and health of your own child is a decision worthy of wise, adult and bold woman.
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First of all, decide why you are most experienced - marital status, as parents will be treated, possible problems at work, health, material condition? There are immediate many of these questions, but there are posses in it. The more questions, the more responsible you are a person and the more serious you feel about the emergence of a child in your life.
The next step is to answer all the questions that have arisen.
Why am I afraid of pregnancy?
Upon closer examination, everything is not so scary. In essence, the main issues are two - the material side and your health. Parents are likely to be gladly grandchildren, they will help both physically and materially, and work is not worth the nerves at all.
We will try to consider concrete reasons for fear women of pregnancy:
1 Unreliable partner (fear to remain a single mother). If you are not married, it does not mean that you can not give birth to a child. If your partner is a responsible and conscious person, he himself will immediately offer to arrange relationships and live together. If not, as practice shows, the child is better to grow at all without a father, than to see like dad instead of making money and help his wife, drinks, walks and offends mom. 
By the way, according to the same statistics, the easiest way to get married a lonely woman who has a child from 2 years old.
2 Financial aspect.Nobody canceled material assistance for children from the state. And if you work, you will also get or decret. Thus, firstly, the marital status "married" is not yet a guarantee of material well-being, secondly, as they say, "and in the war", "and in our time and it can be used to grow a child.
3 cramped housing conditions. Too small apartment, accommodation with parents, Removable apartment / room - Independent factors in pregnancy planning. It is not too late, it is worth thinking about any opportunities to settle this apartment question. By the way, a joint accommodation with future grandmothers and grandfathers sometimes brings more benefits than inconvenience. Where else can you find such indispensable, and, most importantly, native assistants?
4 crisis in a relationship with a man. In some cases, unplanned pregnancy can cause the deterioration of relationships between partners. Especially when opinions on the fate of the baby in potential parents differ.
The only way to solve the conflict is a calm and confidence conversation. Learn to share your opinions and experiences without moving to emotions. Try to find out what exactly you do wrong, and how this situation can be corrected.
The emergence of a new family member is to a certain extent stress for both parents. Now everything will be different: new roles, new responsibilities. Discussing all questions openly, you have more chances to find a common interest than silently and alone trying to prove your truth.
5 is too young or, on the contrary, the mature age of future mother and father. The pregnancy that occurred at a young age is usually found by society is extremely negative. The parents of newly minted mother and father are against the birth of a child, referring to the inability of young to give the baby everything is necessary.
Not always young parents are infantile and shifted responsibility for the child born to grandparents.
Often, on the side of young mothers and dads, you can meet such tenderness and care in relation to the child, which more adult parents cannot be provided.
At late pregnancy, it should be very responsible to approach their own health and carefully listen to the testimony of doctors. Pregnancy in adulthood can be threatened with some complications, so it is now worth really evaluating their strength and opportunities. The most important question is your health, the health of the mother of the future child.
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Fortunately, with the modern development of medicine, only a very small percentage of women has contraindications to having to wear and the birth of a child incompatible with life. And, as a rule, this is either known since childhood or with such diseases is almost impossible to conceive.All other women need to follow their health and lifestyle at least from the moment they learned about pregnancy.
Therefore, you need to be less nervous if possible, refuse bad habits and go to proper nutrition.
6 Fear of losing work. Yes, motherhood really suggests a career break. But not all the childless girls are so acutely feeling the need for self-realization, like moms who have gone to the decree. Pregnancy and maternity leave is not the time spent in imprisonment. You will have a lot of time to collect all your creative ideas and ideas in a bunch.The fact that not all employers are happy to see among their workers pregnant - this is a fact. But in your power to find the company that will appreciate your skills and skills, not a temporary position.
