Passion and love: what is the relationship on?

If there are talks about the sea in heaven only about the sea, according to the heroes of the film "Reach to Heaven", then on Earth conversations only about love. Probably you need to be very original not to write about it on the eve of the holiday of lovers. And let's talk about love and passion!
For many people, these two concepts are identical, they are periodically confused, but from the point of view of psychological health and healthy relationship, it is fraught with problems. This endless confusion occurs due to the fact that often these two feelings occur in parallel.

If you try to give the definition of "love" now, you will have to release a divers with hundreds of thousands of text, and add terabytes of video and audio materials. Therefore, let's focus on the differences between love and passion, and we will rely only on some theses.

Dictionary "Ozhegova" lovedetermines how a strong sense of deep location, selfless and sincere affection. BUT passionlike a dusty desire.

These two contradictory definitions will help us distinguish these feelings. Love is based on proximity, while passion exclusively at a desire.

Passion - Man's lust, not amenable to control and has a significant impact on his thinking and behavior.

E.Fromh argued that instincts, or natural attractions, are rooted in the physiological needs of a person, while human passions are in its character. In other words: instincts - this is the answer to the physiological needs of a person, then passion - The answer to its existential needs.

E. Fromm differed rational passions (for example, love) and irrational passions (greed, vanity, etc.). Rational passions are viable. They lead to self-affirmation of a person, strengthen his feeling of joy, contribute to the manifestation of its integrity and give the meaning of his life. Irrational passions, on the contrary, interfere with the vital activity of a person, undermine his strength, lead to the splitness and loss of life. A person owns such passions as the need for love, tenderness, solidarity, freedom, truth, on the one hand, and thirst for power, subordination, destruction - on the other. All these and many other passions lead him in life, become the cause of unrest and anxiety, are the source of dreaming, myths, legends, religions, art, literature.

What is the basis of relationships?

In the context of the conversation about relations and love, we are of course we consider first love passion. The reason for the occurrence of such passion lies in the field of biochemistry of the body. The first thing that we notice in the object of our attraction is bodily sympathy, our unconscious ideals of beauty are triggered here. The second is the smell produced by a pheromone recognized by the organ on the wall of the nasal sinuses. Therefore, one smell of a person looks like "mine, attracts", the other is the other way around "not mine."

Passion - This is a feeling that causes very strong emotions because of the powerful emission into the blood of adrenaline, neurotrofins that act as a drug. Therefore, we like to have an attraction so much.

For a person, this feeling is like a long-awaited, fresh sip, giving an incredible amount of forces, a storm of emotions, an incredible lift of motivation.

Have you already impressed with this rattling mixture of biochemistry and mental processes? But in contrast to animals, we make decisions using mind and logic. Passion can be succumbed (such is the nature of a person), but whether to pass to passions, it is an ethical and psychological question for everyone.

Passion-based relations

In relations based on passion, the satisfaction of their desires is in the first place. In such a state, we want to experience bright love emotions, be with the other, but we do not want to get tied. These two opposite forces create a voltage, a barrier that does not allow to see and take the other. If the passion fills the entire space of relationships, it will destroy them, and ultimately lead to loneliness. In pursuit of passions, we are not able to take the heat and care of the other. Often independent people are victims of their passion: the relationship brought pain and disappointment, and now not experienced passion and fear prevent true love.

Therefore, we can say that the passion itself is perfect, but when it takes only part of relations and is rational. Moreover, the production of hormones responsible for attachment and positive reinforcement of sexual behavior lasts no more than two or three years. A painful passion, like madness, deprives a person person. We strive to absorb another, refusing yourself. Such relations are akin to blackmail, where the question sounds all the time "Do you love me?", Although in fact a person orders "love me!".

A passion may be present in love, but there is no place in passion.

Relationships on love

And what can be said about love? The first is undoubtedly a longer feeling than passion. IN healthy relationship There is a "me" and there are "you", there are clear boundaries, there is freedom and trust, there is care and warmth, and at the same time there is an amazing feeling of intimacy. I am not in vain allocated "healthy relationships", because there are unhealthy forms of such relationships that tend to issue for love. Such, for example, include dependent relationships (dependent love). When there are no boundaries between "I" and "You", and there is a single form - "we". Such relationships can continue for years and bring a lot of suffering in exchange for moments of happiness.

In love relationships, the happiness and desires of the other are highly valued, the feelings of the other are respected. Such relationships are always durable, and how any relationship they are inevitably found with crisis. However, in the case of mutual love, the actions are selected and considered with caution, with the desire to agree and find a general decision.

Unfortunately, far not all people had the experience of unconditional love from their motherIn his parent family, did not know the experience of open, safe and trusting relationships. Therefore, in adult life can demonstrate some surrogate, which they seem love.

And only a miracle can send the situation if they meet a truly loving other person and will be open enough to learn to love. In all other cases, it is solely work on yourself. In everyday psychology it is believed that people do not know how to express negative feelings and emotions, and they have problems. But I often come across another phenomenon when people do not know how to express the feelings of love, and even worse - they simply do not have the experience of this love.

Learn to separate the passion from love, learn to love! Let it cover you not only passion, but in your life there will be love!

The spectrum of human feelings and shades is so wide that it is impossible to give each of them a precise definition.

Love and passion are the most bright of all the senses of human. These two feelings are rarely found separately from each other. Usually they are woven into one node and if present in the relationship, they can give significant complications. Let's try to arrange everything in our place and understand where love, and where is the passion.

Like a snake-temptist, passion is side-side with a real deep feeling. And only it is to succumb to her, as at that very moment the destruction of everything that had was threatened. A confusing is capable of a few. And the majority wish to surrender to her and does not represent relationships without passion. And is it worth it to fear?

Passion is ...

In order not to be mistaken in the definition of this concept, relying only on subjective comments, look into the explanatory dictionary of Mr. Daly, which means passion.

Everything is very simple: the definition says that "passion" is a gusting of the souls with respect to something, the inner thirst, an unrequited attraction, an inexplicable and unbridled desire ... Betterless abyss runs between human passion and reasonable start. Passions are subordinate to the mind, but they oppose him. The passion of the blind and immense, she is not able to reason, and a person who succumbed to her resembles an angry beast.

Physical manifestation of passion

• frequent heartbeat;
• scattered look;
• expansion of pupils;
• trembling in the body;
• frequent sexual excitation;
• the condition of the cold is replaced by heat;
• body is restless;
• shiver in hand;
• restless and unconscious legs.

Man's image in passion

1. A person is experiencing a mixture of feelings from excitement, joy, anxiety. This set of experiences is difficult to characterize because there are many different components in it. Feelings are positive, so they are easy to call love.

2. A person may experience unusual desires, for example, becomes very active physically, or stretches to art, wants to make beneficial affairs - to take care of people, feed animals, and so on.

3. A person overwhelms the desire to constantly be near the subject of their passion: admire them, touch him. But this desire can easily turn into an obsessive idea.

4. A person over time wishes to become part of the life of the one who he is experiencing passion, and he wants to share as much as possible in the life of his subject of passion.

How to determine the passion of psychologists, the basis of passion is physiological arousal, and all that it complements is only shades and consequences of excitement. First of all, the passion feeds a sex life if it is mutual. The brightest manifestation of passion is sex. The passion also manifests itself in the form of permanent "interference" into the life of his elect - calls, letters, messages, communication in social networks, which sometimes resembles persecution.

The body is experiencing anxiety. The main desire of a person overcrowded to passion is to possess. Testing a rich spectrum of emotions, we lose control over your behavior, which may result in peculiar consequences. Thirst to saturate the subject of passion blinds and deprives the mind, wanting to get pleasure, we stop thinking about the needs and sensations of the partner.

Chemistry in passion

As we understand, if you want to understand the mechanism of the miracle, it disappears. Thus, let's try to apply this formula in our case: it turns out if we understand how the passion acts in our body, then you will stop perceiving it like something supernatural and concentrate on something more stable and solid. What is the origin of these persistent emotions and turbulent experiences?

The tide of energy and good mood is caused by serotonin and dopamine, which are produced during the experience of passion. Due to the presence of dopamine in the body, a person has a strong desire to donate from everything, nothing to think about anything, and, having neglected by all the rules and decencies, to succumb to the desired.

Non-standard behavior - anxiety, frequent pulse, trembling in the limbs - the result of adrenaline and norepinephrine.

As scientists, endroid and enkephalin say, which are developed subconsciously, in the process of experiencing passion, they affect as narcotic substances. The time of these hormones is limited. Over time, the reaction the body on these hormones is "smoothed", so there is a desire to increase the dose to experience the feelings with the previous force.

If you live with a partner, fueling only one passion - it will lead to a dead end. And the morality is not here. Spirituality is the same - by itself. Just passion is able to exhausize physically.

Passion is chemistry, the reaction of our body, regardless of the influence of our personality. If you explore the human brain, it is possible to reproduce the state of passion artificially. So is it necessary to assume that the passion is something supernatural? That's all, the miracle is exhausted.
What? We are not against passion, even for! But passion is like spices if it uses a talented cook, it is able to turn ordinary products into a real masterpiece.

If you compare emotions with spices, it remains only to imagine what happens if the cook will provide a dish of a whole pack of red pepper! Acute - a lot, but the taste is no longer.

How to determine the rate of passion?

1. Take advantage of the passion for self-development

The passion is born by an endless list of desires that had a kind of useful, but they lacked time or desire: feed pigeons, run in the morning to the stadium, draw pictures, cook, help those who need it need. When the desires are implemented, you are filled with pleasant sensations and awareness that you have made sense. Even if the passion will fill you, it will not be able to drain you, on the contrary, will complement and develop your sophisticated and deep sense of love.

2. Decorate sex in mind and sensuality

If sex is not an expression of your sense of love, he will begin to empty you. If you dilute the passion of spiritual experiences, then you can avoid a similar fate. Complete sex by passionate words, because sweet feelings are forgotten with time, unlike words. Concentrate on the feelings, and not on the process itself.

Determine that sex means for you: Is it a tool to solve all problems? After all, the truth is that after such a "restoring" session see all in a more positive light. But the problem is not solved, but it is forced. " Passion will not solve the problem in love relationship, this is a false way for long-term relationships.

4. Do not deprive partner space

If you have imbued with the desire to help the partner, do not go for this unconditionally, filling with your presence all his life. So there is a passion. At first it can come to taste. Then it can enter the habit and even benefit, but the time will come, and one life will remain for two. As usual, this state of affairs causes a lot of disagreements in the relations of partners. Anyone needs a personal space.

Tip: distinguish two concepts - love and passion. But the passion is impossible to describe in words. To check how feeling you are experiencing, explore emotions. Passion is fashionable to compare with unbearable hunger when the food is in front of the eyes. Catisfy with a similar scenario - do you have it so?

You may think that passion is experiencing your partner. In this case, you will have to solve the problem gradually. The more unbounted and judicially you will come up to solving the current situation, the better. Try to figure out objectively, is the partner of the manifestation of your feelings? If an unbridled desire is drunk and passion to immerse himself in feelings - this may indicate a lack of love in his life at all.

Show your love in such a way as he is ready to perceive it. For example, you emphasize his dignity in words, and it needs a joint pastime. If you are not able to express feelings because of the difference in perception that occurred between you, then a man will get love from you by the method of passionate pumping, and as a rule, the most primitive way is sex. Read the Book of Gary Chepsena "5 Languages \u200b\u200bof Love."

Open the partner what you want in a relationship, tell him right about what you are waiting for him in love. Maybe a man is trying to understand what you need, therefore it demonstrates it with all the available ways. And the passion is the most common, what lies on the surface.

Reference also on how much your man is ripe for such an exalted feeling, like love. Maybe the passion is all that he is capable. Perhaps he is a vampire, only not the descendant of Dracula, and so, the energy consumer. If a person does not know how to sign, the love of even the highest "sample" will disappear in the bottomless black hole, which can only grow.

Thirst so fill its resources forcing a person to go on everything possible to get the desired feelings from you, and passion is the simplest way. But the passion will be empty and destroyed. This is infinite control, jelly scene, emotional storms.

Recommendations in this article are intended for those who have become a subject of passion in relations. A completely different thing looks like if you plunged into the "Out of Passion", being alone. Perhaps it is worth a bright episode in your life for unforgettable impressions.

In conclusion, it should be said that the basis of passion is a selfish desire, the desire to possess completely and in large quantities, assertive and irrevocable. But selfishness is not the best basis for a relationship. Well, there is still a variant of market relations for this case.

There are legends about love, they do not forget about it for a second, millions dream about it. A lot of poems and songs are folded about love. Love investigated thinkers and scientists of all times. Love is strong against any disease. Everyone wants love - both the child, and the elderly. Love becomes God, despite the fact that we are not aware of this.

As Emily Dickinson said, "love is all. And that's all we know about her. " This proposal laid a lot of meaning, as people are very often confused with love, and even with passion.

And yet, there is a significant difference between these concepts, which is better to understand and remember, otherwise it is possible to block firewood, and not small.

Love

Very often people get acquainted, fall in love and marry. Think about what has been said, there is no word love here, it appears in love. But if it manages relations, it will come shortly after the wedding. And this is the logical and only correct way out of the current situation.

And in order not to get into it, you need to know how to distinguish love from love. When people get acquainted, they begin to like each other, and then meet, they feel happy and enveloped, they admire the external beauty of their second half, his (or her) character, manner of behavior. It seems to them that they are capable of collapse, fulfill any desire - this is love. She takes the ability of soberly to assess the situation, "puts on" his pink glasses, through which he does not see any negative parties or the qualities of his subject to adoration.

Being in such a "drunk" condition you can decide that this is the long-awaited love that carries the happiness and joyful years of living together. However, it takes time, and with him a strong influence of love. People begin to know each other from different sides, and not always good. Here it comes to an understanding of love.

If the feelings managed to grow before her, then the couple would most likely stay together. And if it was only a fleeting passion, it will be very soon to admit that the inner world of another person and his needs do not bother you. Accordingly, you have any desire to be with him together. It turns out, it is not interesting, and in general is not in your taste.

Passion

Passion is very similar to love, but its main goat is physical attraction. If a couple in love can walk for hours by hand or look at the stars, then people blinded by passion will have a common time in bed.

Almost all their relationships will be reduced to enjoy. And here there is a big difference: do not give, namely, get. Here is the main difference between passion and love.

Passion is also blind and lightning. She burns and makes all the time think about the second half. When meeting, both cannot find words to express their emotions, so it overflows them.

Passion is pretty serious feeling, but it is not so deep as love. Probably it can be said that the passion lasts longer than love, and on its basis it can even be built such a syk relationship. However, if she is backed by love, she quickly burns, and everything that was between a man and a woman remains forever in the past and without going to the future.

Love

Love. It would seem that everything is very easy to understand. But no, practice shows that many people and, or, or in time, know. Only then, more than years, they understand that she came to them, and they did not notice, considering something non-serious.

Love is when a person is ready to give everything for his beloved. He strives to know how best to recognize him from the inside, understand its views on life, values \u200b\u200band benchmarks. In a word, he craves to him in achieving goals, wants to bring comfort and calm in his life.

When love is born, people are able to understand and forgive everything so that there is neither. They just take their soul mate as it is, with all its disadvantages and minuses. This is even written in the Bible.

When you love, the feeling is born inside, which is impossible to describe in words, and the person suddenly understands that he found someone who was looking for a lifetime. He is ready to be with him every day and all his life, is ready to help him in everything and go to certain concessions for him. As they say, love through everything will pass so that neither happens.

And the main feature of this feeling is that it does not blind a person, but allows him to argue with a clean head. He can analyze his actions and deeds of her beloved. It does not vita in the clouds, but, on the contrary, is ready for action. He wants to do something and achieve success.

No, do not think that previous two feelings are bad, or not full. They are in kind of harbing love. Without them, it does not arise. And when the passion lives with love, the life of two people is constantly saturated and not boring.

You can fall in love in two, or even in three people at the same time, but you can truly love, you can only one. That is what the main feature of such a desired love.

But all these definitions are relative. After all, feelings can not measure or try to taste. Everyone can tell about them completely different.

Love, Pattern and Love

Love

How does it all start? First look. Answered gusting from it. Or, even there is no answer, but desirable, even if not realized, is taken for valid. And a fading arises, tomorrow in the chest ...

The question "Is it true that he noticed me, allocated from others?" He sounds in the mind constantly. And ... the search for confirmation of the desired becomes the leading aspiration in life. Romantic fantasy, imagging for "him", dreams of seemingly possible options for the development of relations with "him", give rise to so many feelings! .. The world is filled with their sound and reflection in everything: the world blooms with paints, and people are perceived as friendly and pleasant. And at the same time, it seems there is no one - only me and he ...

Thoughts about him are constant or floating in the most unexpected moments. They are pleasant and inspired for "feats": everything seems performed, affordable, possible. But ... it fails to plunge completely into business, or it does not always succeed. There are almost no results. And it does not bother at all. Think - things! Yes, nonsense is all - then I will do. Or will be done by itself ... somehow ...

The main thing is that "he" looked at me, noticed! And an unprecedented, fascinating delight, if answered with reciprocity!

Then we are becoming two - flying in a rush of the stunned feelings that tremble from one thought about the upcoming meeting and when memories of the last ...
And absorbing the sea of \u200b\u200bemotions, when we together and tremblely touch each other.

We are in love and are fully involved in these experiences. They are reflected in our faces with some sublime feelings. Heard in a ringing voice. Make a gait flying, moved and free. The whole world is refracted in love: there is only a wonderful, important, valuable both - delight of this feeling!

And it seems that it opens up the door in love with eternity ...

Passion

Does love grow into passion? Yes, but rarely ... very rare.

More often, passion captures suddenly, by once and comprehensively. If love elevates and fills, although it bothers the mind, then the passion burns.

One view, one touch, hint or counter move makes the bonfire of emotions, which burns, it seems, all feelings. Nothing remains - only passion!

She as a predatory beast lies his thoughts, telesses the body on the part, encourages to throw their lives in the shreds. And if there are both passion for both, then the life of both.

There is nothing, only a passionate desire to come to each other. Have, torment, absorb. To give out without a residue as if it seems to die every time, receiving a lover at your disposal. If something or someone prevents and getting it (her) fails, death is experiencing even more painful. And I want to blow up the whole world or die yourself! ... to die, so that the passion and only passion filled the soul and the body with one desire: rendered to me to be elected ...

And so without end: a flash of desire, a bonfire of passion, combustion in the fire of irrepressible emotions, ash of emptying feelings, the feeling of the lack of life in the body, the death of spiritual and non-existence ... and everything is new! Without life rest glimpses, without promotion, without development, without a relationship - one passion, and only passion ...

Until one of lovers will come in one of lovers, and he (she) will find and starts to "crawl", pulling away to survive at least physically ...

Or one of them will allow, horrifying that he was involved in and as far as it rushed him from life.

Passion is always finite. And ends with a break. There are no two in it, there is no one: it absorbs both. And no one becomes building further relationship. Especially the relationship filled with love. After all, for love, he needs "he" and "she" - two separate, holistic personality.

What is love?

"I love you" - words that dream of hearing any woman. We will learn about beautiful princes, magic and crystal locks with young girls. We listen to history and present ourselves at the site of these chief destinies. We live in a state of waiting and hope that with us, it will happen to us ...

Why not? When we close your eyes and see ourselves in the arms of your chosen one, we feel a condition close to happiness, we are on the eve of something new, unusual and mysterious ... And at this moment ... anyone can become a chosen one.

Remember, like Pushkin Tatiana in Evgenia Onegin: "... She was waiting for someone ...". And it was on this man who met by the will of fate, all our hopes, speculation and fantasies fell. Well, if he is also in such a state of the spirit. Otherwise, he will have to prove for a long time that he is the one who we need. That he is worthy of our attention; And that only together we can become truly happy. If the girl is shy and afraid to approach his chosen one, the moment of attraction of the latter most often becomes even stronger. According to the principle: what is not affordable, the desired. Dream to hear three cherished words can turn into mania. Psychologists are called a "shift of motive to goal": when recognition in love becomes more important than the actual manifestation of such.

Is it then? For many young people, love is perceived as a relay stick, which can be transmitted from one partner to another. Getting attention to achieve manifestation of feelings, get a review and ... all ... This stage is completed ... You can switch to another object of lust.

Love is one of the words, which is very close to love. Lust, desire, mastering, conquest - all that indicates the object belonging to someone or something. Welcome and take possession - the beginning and end of history. Could it be love? What follows after the object is conquered? Do I need to continue the relationship? Attracts the process. The process of hunting accompanied by increasing senses, throwing adrenaline into blood, dynamic change of strong emotional states. Intrigates the process of rapprochement itself. A response "yes" can be the loudest and last notewable in relationships. Desired achieved .... And the inhales went sharply on the decline ....

Young people tend to make mistakes.

We see the world as we want to see him. We listen and hear, mainly what is pleasant and attractive. Our desires play with us a cruel joke. We are "hanging out" to another person what would like to see, and then we demand the fulfillment of our desires.

A dream is another funny word. Agree that the dream of love and love is not the same thing. For a dream to become a reality to adapt it to adapt to reality. Love is always about two. Dream of love - while one. Love is something accompanied by immense trust and confidence, clearness and sensation of long-term relationships.

Many young people seem to have crushing the trait of close relationships, they will lose their romance and airiness. That the creation of arrangements and take responsibility will lead to the "household", which, as it is considered, will destroy their love. They are afraid of losing what is not yet. What is just going to be born if ... they dare to do it.

The transition from the state of love to love is accompanied by personal growth and adulthies. Only truly adult people are able to decide on the continuation, holding and preservation of relations. Only truly mature people are able to support them. Only truly loving can understand, accept and believe each other.

Pyl S. and Brodsky A. In his book "Love and Dependence" (2005), they note: "In healthy relations, growing attachment to another person is accompanied by increasing recognition and high assessment of this person; These are those love relations in which two people constantly find each other new faces that admire and bring pleasure "

Relationship of love (or from love for love)

The very thought of parting in love is not considered. They strive to be together more and more, wanting to do not part at all. And they succeed, because Thoughts about the object of love fill in all the time when they do not see and when it is possible to dare to distract from the apiece. Creates a state "I am with you constantly". And this state awakens the desire to supplement, confirm it also through the feeling, and the lovers increase the time held together.

And then the reality gradually, and sometimes violently, declares itself. Each lovers have a job or study, as well as other relationships. There are relatives and relatives, friends and colleagues. There are responsibilities and previously responsible. There are personal goals of the plans of each of them themselves. All this requires attention, time and investment.

Sometimes the world "wins", and the lovers break up: everyone returns to his reality. And this period, filled with sensuality, remains in the memoirs ...

And sometimes lovers, experiencing pressure from the outside, decide to continue their relationships. And then there are many tasks in front of them, which they did not think and were not suspected before. Constantly, then stronger, then more gentle, the question arises before each of them: "What is more important: to remain in this relationship or prefer them to be freedom to solve other tasks and creating other relations for this?"

Life difficulties as it were, again and again check their feelings to each other for strength. And if the feeling of love is developing into love, the relationship is preserved, filling another one highest universal value - harmony.

Then in this relationship, in the love of them filling it all: the significance of the identity of each, respect for the needs and objectives of each other, separate and joint, support both in personal and professional growth and the constant development of the relationship themselves. Love is the relationship of two mature personalities.

Erich Fromm in his remarkable book "The Art of Love" says that love is "the desire of intimacy that respects the integrity of the beloved ... A man or a woman can achieve love only if he develops itself to the level on which there can be as holistic and Confident personality ... Mature love is unity subject to preservation of integrity, individuality ... It allows you to exercise active interest in life and the growth of the one we love. "

How to save how to support such relationships?

Moskalenko V.D. In the book "When love too much" (2007), offers "family life due to its complexity to submit an arithmetic action of" multiplications ", and not" addition ". She draws attention that then often heard phrase when spouses represent each other "this is my half" will be expressed in the form of 1/2 x 1/2 \u003d 1/4. She draws attention that "1/4" cannot be a symbol of healthy relationships. And he proposes to take "1" as a symbol of interaction of holistic personalities. Then their interaction will look like this: 1x1 \u003d 1. Next, we will again give the word to the author: "So, healthy relationships are able to create those two people, each of which is a full-fledged person, and not" half "... Love - does not mean to look at each other's eyes all the time. The main thing is to look in one direction, have a common goal. It should be noted that our relationships are developing and improving not so much due to the goals achieved as in the process of movement to the goal. Experienced experiences are important. "

So, the answer to the question "How to preserve love?" Prost and at the same time folded: to be in a relationship 100%. What is the most important thing? Keep yourself and, without dissolving yourself, maintain a partner in this. And it is also constantly creating and rerown by the spheres of generality, unity, compatibility. So, having different professions, you can unite into hobbies, entertainment, rest. Conversely, fond of various creativity or, for example, public activities, have common or intersecting professional interests. There are many options. Common in those who live in the relationship of love is the same thing: there is me, and you and we.

And here is one example.

There were a boy and a girl. Lived in the same house. We went to one kindergarten, then in the same school. Friend. Emplicated and more and more stretched each other. And when it turned 18 years old, came to parents. Her mother asked: "And what do you like this little time so much? Love him?" Daughter replied: "Yes. From the tip of the nose to the tip of the tail. " "Then go with him," the mother replied. Many years later. Difficult times were, and it was difficult in relationships. But they were always together, although they swear terrible, argued, and ... remained together. They said that they love each other. Never even considered the separation option.

This story told me an adult daughter. She, in finding an explanation, why the parents never separated, even appealed to the astrologer: built natal cards (horoscope at the time of the birth of a person) of all members of their family. Everything turned out to be different, that's just the central planet from both turned out to be Venus - the planet of love, as astrologists consider. The daughter said: "I do not know, Venus is to blame or they themselves decided for themselves, but even in the most difficult moments of life and with the most huge disagreements, parents said that they love each other."

Another example.

A young couple appealed to me (Natalia Manukhina) for help: married a year ago, they experience enormous difficulties in the settlement of family relations - both among themselves and with their parents. From their story, the amazing completion of their parental families on the rules and lifestyles, which was considered correct was revealed. They were simply opposite in some household moments. For example, in the parent family of his wife cleaning the apartment was engaged irregularly, and as needed, the one who during this period was more free. And in the family of her husband Saturday was the "ritual" day of cleaning the apartment, in which everyone lives at the moment. And it was one of the difficult issues for a young family: "How to?" And such "contradictions" was found the farther, the more. Quarrels began to arise between the newlyweds, which gave rise to doubts how much the sense of love, the leading began their relationship, is preserved. Therefore, they also appealed to a family psychologist. Education at the first meeting that both love each other and are ready to fight for the preservation of their relationship, they spent a large semi-annual work. In her process, they not only retained relationships, but they strengthened them, and then engaged in a "peaceful settlement" relationship with relatives of both.

And this is not the only case in our practice when people, relying on true love, create such relationships that enhance it so much that those surrounding, relatives and acquaintances also change their relationship into a favorable side for them.

Is it available to everyone and everyone? Of course! Love is a sense of universal. If you afford true love, then those who also seek to support it and can support.

Love or passion?

Passion and love are the strongest, bright and desired feelings of any person. Ideally, they are present together. But there are significant differences between them.

Passion is a strongest feeling that is practically uncommon. It is she who often leads the spouses "to the left" and becomes the cause of the decay of many families. And at the same time, few people would agree to live life, having shutting up a sense of passion out of him. Why does she attract us so much? What is experiencing a person embraced by passion?

First of all, a mad hormonal splash occurs. A person is experiencing a feeling similar to intoxication, the feeling of reality is dulled. Emotions beat through the edge, joy, anxiety, excitement replaced each other, as in a kaleidoscope. The man himself cannot understand that he feels at a particular moment (yes it is especially and does not seek to understand), but one feeling dominates over all this emotional cocktail: "I want !!!"

A very strong desire appears to possess the subject of passion, constantly beside him, touch him, jealously protect against other people's encroachments, take the main place in his life (and even subordinate his life to himself). Sometimes passion can grow into an intrusive idea and significantly spoil life not only to a person, but also others, especially the subject of his passionate aspirations.

But such situations are a rare "clinical" case. Much more often in humans under the influence of passion appear new, atypical desire for him. So, he can start playing sports, run in the morning, draw, engage in music, writing poetry. That is, the passion can become a powerful source of inspiration, and in history there is a lot of immortal musical, artistic and literary masterpieces, who saw the light due to the author's passion.

Well, of course, the feeling of passion gives a stormy, stunning sex.

However, passion is short-lived phenomenon. If the relationship between partners is built solely on mutual sex attraction, they will break out, barely ends.

It is a beautiful bright feeling gell in verses and songs. It was reflected in almost all aspects of creativity, it is called panacea from all diseases, it is necessary for absolutely everyone.

If the passion is a storm of emotions, then love is a calm and peaceful feeling that gives quiet happiness. It is the deepest attachment and dedication to the partner, which is based on the community of interests, ideals and life principles.

How does love appear on the "household" level?

A loving person sees and realizes the shortcomings of his beloved, but he takes them as an integral part of the personality of the partner and does not seek to "smash" his measure. Moreover, this applies not only to the smallest things (such as the socks constantly spread around the room), but also serious things (regular non-fulfillment of promises, the desire to constantly argue).

Loving people are calm and balanced, with respect to the partner completely disinterested. There are no greater joy for them than to do something pleasant to your beloved. In their lives there is a need to take care of a beloved, protect it from adversity, protect and help. They carefully weighed their words and actions against a partner to not offend him or not harm. In love there is no place for egoism. A truly loving person is ready for almost any victims and deprivation for the sake of his beloved.

Summing up, you can note the following.

Passion is a selfish feeling that has the main goal of meeting their own desires and needs. It is bright, uncontrollable, and sometimes the devastating emotion, which is inherent in jealousy and suspicion. Passion quite easily fades when separated and over time.

Love is a deep, conscious and complex feeling that does not depend on the time and distance between loving people. In love is necessarily present confidence, freedom, patience and skill forgive. Love is the strongest basis for marriage. It helps to survive any difficulties and provides understanding and support.

At the same time, it is impossible to say that love is good, and passion is bad. These two opposites are equally important and necessary in the life of any person. After all, each of us is striving for happiness, and what is needed for this - determines himself.

Let both of these feelings are present in your life that is needed for your happiness and happiness of your partner.