Ranevskaya's statements about life. Apt statements by Faina Ranevskaya. Ranevskaya's statements about herself and life
Faina Ranevskaya, (1896-1984) actress
A woman must have two qualities in order to succeed in life. She must be smart enough to be liked by stupid men, and stupid enough to be liked by smart men.
Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
The family has a director.
In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity.
Memories are the wealth of old age.
It has always been a mystery to me how great actors could play with artists from whom there is nothing to get infected, even a runny nose.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
If a person in winter in the cold did not pick up a stray dog, this person is rubbish, capable of all meanness. And I’m not wrong.
There are some fools who are jealous of fame.
There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, there are people in whom only worms live.
The few animals were included in the Red Book, and there are many of them in the Book about tasty and healthy food.
Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
You need to live so that you are remembered by the bastards.
“How much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy,” said Faina Ranevskaya about fans who give her armfuls of flowers.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died of disgust."
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really does love? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? There are gangsters in the movies too.
Where the damn money goes, you can't tell me? They scatter like cockroaches with monstrous speed.
Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. In fact, there are only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet.
Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that all the time, 80 percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble!
We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play after that Ostrovsky!
I don't get along with everyday life! Money bothers me both when it is not there and when it is there.
I hate cynicism for its general availability.
There is no sickness more painful than anguish.
Nothing makes you understand and feel your loneliness more than when there is no one to tell your dream.
Optimism is a lack of information.
About the director: Perpetum male.
Spelling mistakes in writing are like a bug on a white blouse.
About his works in the cinema: "The money is eaten, but the shame remains."
It's very hard to be a genius among boogers.
Do you understand my shallow thought?
Damn nineteenth century, damn parenting: can't stand when men are sitting.
The strongest feeling is pity.
The worst thing is to offend, upset a person, hit a dog, not feed her hungry.
The family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman gives rise to the mother of the heroine. The union of a stupid woman and an intelligent man gives rise to a single mother. The union of an intelligent woman and a stupid man creates an ordinary family. The union of an intelligent man and an intelligent woman gives rise to light flirting.
It became funny. Great people live like people, and I live as a stray dog, although there is a dwelling! There is a stray dog, she lives by my care, - I live as a lonely dog, and, thank God, it won't be long. Who would have known how unhappy I was in this damned life, with all my talents. Who would have known my loneliness! Success is stupid for me, smart one, to rejoice at it.
Old age is when candles on a birthday cake are more expensive than the cake itself, and half of the urine is used for tests.
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that disturb you, but bad reality.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe that it is God's ignorance when he allows you to live to old age.
You have the same flaw as me. No, not the nose - modesty!
Faina Ranevskaya - Elena Kamburova
The clever one knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but the wise never gets into it.
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards a loved one.
This is the fourth time I have watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that has been lowered there.
I, by virtue of the talent granted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
I have lived with many theaters, but I never enjoyed it.
“I didn’t know success in myself… I had the mind to live my life stupidly,” Faina Ranevskaya complained just before her death.
Having entered her first dacha in Malakhovka, she rehearsed in the play "The one who gets a slap in the face." Role without words. "What should I do?" - Faina asked her partner, actor Pevtsov. "Love me! Love me the whole performance and worry. " And she began to love him - four hours without stopping. At the end of the performance, no one remembered Pevtsov: the audience was mad with Ranevskaya's passionate love. She sobbed all the time, and continued to sob even after the end of the performance. The singers asked: "Why are you crying now?" "I continue to love you." He said: "You will be an actress!"
Once Ranevskaya slipped on the street and fell. Some unknown man was walking towards her.
- Lift me up! - asked Ranevskaya. - People's artists don't lie on the road ...
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
- It's a pity that we didn't take the piano, - says Faina Georgievna.
- It's not funny, - one of the accompanying remarks.
- Really silly, - Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.
The older generation always scolds young people: they say, they have completely deteriorated, have become frivolous, do not respect the elders, without a king in their head, they only think about fun ... Having heard such an old man's conversation, Ranevskaya said with a sigh:
- The worst thing about young people is that we ourselves no longer belong to them and cannot do all these stupid things ...
Faina Georgievna returned home pale as death, and said that she was driving from the theater in a taxi.
- I immediately realized that he was a reckless driver. How he maneuvered between cars, dodged trucks, slipped right in front of passers-by! But I got really scared only later. When we arrived, he took out a magnifying glass to look at the counter!
- Nobody kissed me, except the groom! One young actress said proudly to Ranevskaya.
- Darling, I did not understand, - Faina Georgievna responded, - are you bragging or complaining?
Once, at the theater, Faina Georgievna was riding in an elevator with the artist Gennady Bortnikov, and the elevator got stuck ... They had to wait a long time - only after forty minutes they were released. Ranevskaya said to young Bortnikov, leaving:
- Well, Genochka, now you have to marry me! Otherwise, you will compromise me!
About women
When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at it. Faina Georgievna overheard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the painting did not impress him. Ranevskaya noted:
- This lady for so many centuries made the impression on such people that now she herself has the right to choose whom to impress her and who not!
*
“God created women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
*
"Which women, in your opinion, are inclined to be more fidelity brunette or blonde?"
Without hesitation, she answered: "Gray-haired!"
*
- Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
*
- Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the rip in her skirt)
*
- The critics are Amazons in menopause.
*
- When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
*
- With such an ass you have to stay at home!
About health
To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - She usually replied: "No, I just look like that."
*
- What I'm doing? I'm feigning health.
*
- I feel, but bad.
*
- Health is when you have pain in another place every day.
*
- If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
*
- Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
About old age
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that disturb you, but bad reality.
*
- I am like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
*
- Old age is just disgusting. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.
*
- It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire the beautiful music, poetry, painting, and you have to go, you didn’t have time to do anything, but you’re just starting to live!
*
- My God, as life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.
*
- Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.
*
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died of disgust."
*
Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
*
- Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake are more expensive than the cake itself, and half of the urine is used for tests.
About work
The money has been eaten, but the shame remains. (About his works in cinema)
*
- To act in a bad film is like spitting into eternity.
*
- When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
*
- I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
*
- I'm a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..
*
- I, by virtue of the talent granted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
*
- I lived with many theaters, but I never got pleasure.
*
- I watch this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
*
- Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.
*
- How wrong is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors.
*
- We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play after that Ostrovsky!
*
- I receive letters: "Help to become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
*
- Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
*
- He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
*
- Pee-pee in a tram - everything he did in art.
*
- I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, at races, checkers. You have to live on stage.
*
- The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, - demands the capricious young actress.
- Everything will be real, - Ranevskaya soothes her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
About myself and life
All my life I have been swimming in the toilet with the butterfly style.
*
- I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with an oar. You can touch me in the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and brass panties, into which all the Octobrists are trying to get in. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished with so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
*
- The companion of glory is loneliness.
*
- You need to live so that you are remembered by the bastards.
*
- I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
*
- Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really does love? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the cinema, too, Gangsters.
*
- In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my chintz dresses cause widespread bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private houses. Everyone is saddened by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.
*
- Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.
*
- Damn nineteenth century, damn upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
*
- Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
On different topics
Spelling mistakes in writing are like a bug on a white blouse.
*
- A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.
*
- I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I was talking about the friendship of peoples.
*
- The family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
*
- Let it be a little gossip that must disappear between us.
*
- I come across not faces, but a personal insult.
*
- So that we can see how much we overeat, our belly is located on the same side as the eyes.
*
- A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday for sure and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
*
- It was always incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
*
- Do you understand my shallow thought?
*
- A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
*
- Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and the memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
*
“This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that has been lowered there.
*
- You will not believe, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except the groom.
- Are you bragging, dear, or are you complaining?
*
An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly worried about dramas because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: she was crying because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him Ranevskaya called her "the victim of Hera Sima".
*
Once Ranevskaya was asked: "Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?"
- It's obvious: there are very few blind men, and a dime a dozen stupid men.
*
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on their wedding night, when they cheat on their husband for the first time, when they take money for the first time, when they give money for the first time.
And the man?
- Two times: the first time when the second cannot, the second when the first cannot.
*
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
- It's a pity that we didn't take the piano, - says Faina Georgievna.
- Not funny, - one of the accompanying remarks.
- Really silly, - Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that I left all the tickets on the piano.
*
Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. Mossovet, where Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya worked (and with whom she had a far from cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the actress: "Faina Georgievna,
You have devoured my entire directorial plan with your acting! "
- That's what I have a feeling that I ate shit! - retorted Ranevskaya.
*
- Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you define it?
- Two sat on a beer bottle, and three on the mirror, - explained Faina Georgievna.
*
Walking down the street, Ranevskaya was pushed by some man, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you get home, your mother will jump out of the doorway and bite you properly.
*
The actors discuss at a troupe meeting a comrade who is accused of homosexuality:
"This is molestation of youth, this is a crime"
- My God, an unhappy country where a person cannot dispose of his ass, - Ranevskaya sighed.
*
"Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions," Ranevskaya strictly explains: "There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet."
*
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
"Because white makes you look fat."
*
“I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I have never cheated on my husband because I never had one,” Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist.
- So what, - the journalist does not lag behind, - so you have absolutely no shortcomings?
- In general, no, - Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity. And after a short pause, she added:
"True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!"
© AST Publishing House LLC, 2014
© Original-layout, LLC "Knizhkin Dom", 2014
© F. Ranevskaya
Through laughter and tears
And also, my dear, remember: I do not trust myself to bad people ...
And you know, I don't like flowers. Trees are thinkers, and flowers are cocottes.
* * *
My God, how life has slipped by! I've never even heard the nightingales sing.
* * *
My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
* * *
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so they could love men.
* * *
I'm afraid to play - it's scary. I've been playing for sixty years. And I'm still afraid, I'm afraid ...
* * *
I saw the vileness: "Uncle Vanya" - a film. Everything is as if inside out. Mediocre. Impudently, despicably, they made Chekhov the most boring bore, they play despicably.
* * *
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my chintz dresses cause widespread bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private houses. Everyone is saddened by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.
* * *
During the rehearsal, Zavadsky took offense at the actors for something, could not restrain himself, shouted and ran out of the rehearsal hall, slamming the door, shouting: "I'll go, I'll hang myself!" Everyone was depressed. In the silence, the calm voice of Ranevskaya was heard: “Yuri Alexandrovich will be back now. At this time he goes to the toilet. "
* * *
Everyone who loved me did not like me. And whom I loved, they did not love me.
* * *
The theater is a mess of unprecedented power, it’s even a shame to figure in it in old age. I don't visit the city, but I lie more and think about what I could do with shameful things. I meet with my colleagues because of the need to “create” with them, they are all disgusting to me with their cynicism, which I hate for its general availability ...
* * *
For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you get home, your mother will jump out of the doorway and bite you properly.
* * *
In the theater, I was loved by the talented, the mediocre hated, the mongrels bit and tore me apart.
* * *
Memories are the wealth of old age.
* * *
In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity. And I was deprived of it.
* * *
You have no idea how tedious my acting popularity is. For example, for the New Year, up to a thousand greetings - I sit like a convict, I write amiable answers ... Old, in order to enjoy everything vain ...
* * *
The family has a director.
* * *
"Stupidity is a kind of insanity" is my constant thought in bad translation. My God, how many "madmen" are around!
* * *
The girl married a Jew. Girlfriends ask:
- Well, how?
- Oh, girls, I knew that Jews are circumcised, but so short!
* * *
Dealers, adventurers and all sorts of petty swindlers of the pen! They trade souls like buttons.
* * *
It has always been a mystery to me how great actors could play with an actor who has nothing to take, nothing to get infected with, even a runny nose! How to explain mediocrity: no one will come to you, because there is nothing to take from you. I am leaving you because you have nothing to take. In general, I do not recognize the word "play". Let the children play. Let the musicians play. The actor must live.
* * *
* * *
"He did not know my soul, because he loved her." (Tolstoy.)
* * *
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
* * *
If I, yielding to requests, began to write about myself, it would be a plaintive book - "Fate is a whore."
* * *
If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool.
* * *
If a person in winter, in the cold, did not pick up a stray dog, this person is this rubbish, capable of all meanness. And I’m not wrong.
* * *
If you have insomnia, count to three. And if it doesn't help - until half past three.
* * *
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
* * *
To love a friend is not to spare yourself.
* * *
There are some fools who are jealous of fame.
* * *
There are people in whom God lives, there are people in whom the devil lives, there are people in whom only worms live ...
* * *
- The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, - demands the capricious young actress.
- Everything will be real, - Ranevskaya soothes her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
* * *
A woman in the theater washes the toilet. I ask her to work for me, to clean the apartment. Answers: "I can't, I love art."
* * *
A woman must have two qualities in order to succeed in life. She must be smart enough to be liked by stupid men, and stupid enough to be liked by smart men.
* * *
Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
* * *
My life ... I lived around, everything did not work out. Like a redhead by the carpet.
* * *
Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
* * *
You need to live so that you are remembered by the bastards.
* * *
The few animals were included in the Red Book, and there are many of them in the Book about tasty and healthy food.
* * *
Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth are not like anything, ”Ranevskaya once said with bitterness. “Before, I just knew how to answer their questions, but now I don’t even understand what they are asking.
* * *
Zavadsky is given awards not according to his ability, but according to his needs. It is strange that he does not have the title of "Mother Heroine".
* * *
Sometimes something clever comes to mind, but I immediately forget it. The clever has not visited my brains for a long time.
* * *
You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized: big trouble awaits us. (About Lenin.)
* * *
I don't get along with everyday life! Money bothers me both when it is not there and when it is there. (She complained that if she had a lot of money, everyone would know what her good taste is. Lack of money is a faithful companion of her whole life.)
* * *
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died of disgust."
* * *
Once, when Ranevskaya was still living in the same apartment with the Wulfs, and little Alyosha was capricious at night and did not fall asleep, Pavel Leontyevna suggested:
- Maybe I'll sing him something?
- Well, why so immediately, - objected Ranevskaya. - Let's try again in an amicable way.
* * *
How erroneous is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors.
* * *
You know, there are such winged words: "Talent is faith in yourself." And in my opinion, talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with oneself, with one's own shortcomings, which, by the way, I have never met with mediocrity. They always say this about themselves: “Today I played amazingly like never before!”, “Do you know how humble I am? All Europe knows how humble I am! "
* * *
For performances of works on stage and in the theater, writers and composers receive royalties from the box office.
Ranevskaya once said about this:
- And the playwrights are doing pretty well - they receive royalties from each performance of their plays! After all, no one else gets anything like that. Take the architect Rerberg, for example. According to his project, the building of the Central Telegraph on Tverskaya was built in Moscow. Even a plaque hangs with the inscription that this building was erected according to the project of Ivan Ivanovich Rerberg. However, he is not paid royalties for the telegrams that are served in his house!
* * *
How severely the "creator" punished me - he gave me a feeling of compassion. Now I read in the newspaper that after the recent earthquake in Italy, after the death of thousands of lives, a new tragedy happened - a snow storm. The height of the snow is up to six meters, mountains of snow fell on the houses (obviously, where the poor live) and buried everything under them. I called N.I., told her about the tragedy in southern Italy and my despair. She responded by talking about the success of her book!
… How lonely I am in this terrible world of troubles and heartlessness.
If at least one person, one animal suffered on the entire planet, then I would be unhappy, as now.
“How much love, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy,” said Faina Ranevskaya about fans who give her armfuls of flowers.
* * *
How humiliating my life is.
* * *
When I am not given a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
* * *
The critics are Amazons in menopause.
* * *
Someone remarked: "Nobody wants to listen, everyone wants to talk." Is it worth talking about?
* * *
When I wake up in the morning and feel that nothing hurts me, I think I’m already dead!
* * *
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really does love? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the cinema, too, Gangsters.
Faina Ranevskaya's apt statements.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight, she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
***
This lady can already choose herself whom she will impress.
***
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men
***
Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
***
About director Z .: Perpetum male.
***
What I'm doing? I'm feigning health.
***
- Faina Georgievna, how are you?
- You know, darling, what shit is? So is this compared to my life? jam.
***
On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do or think anything, but when he is full, he cannot.
***
The few animals were included in the Red Book, and there are many of them in the Book about tasty and healthy food.
***
I'm like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs me, but it's a pity to throw it away.
***
To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - She habitually answered: "No, I just look like that."
***
"All my life I swam in the toilet butterfly style."
***
My life ... I lived around, everything did not work out. Like a redhead by the carpet.
***
The companion of glory is loneliness.
***
He will die from expanding fantasy.
***
The critics are Amazons in menopause.
***
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.
***
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
***
I feel, but bad.
***
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
***
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
***
The family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
***
Let it be a little gossip that must disappear between us.
***
I don't come across faces, but a personal insult.
***
Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake are more expensive than the cake itself, and half of the urine is used for tests.
***
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
***
This is the fourth time I have watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
***
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
***
I have lived with many theaters, but I never enjoyed it.
***
I receive letters: "Help to become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
***
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
***
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that disturb you, but bad reality.
***
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
***
It was always incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
***
You need to live so that you are remembered by the bastards.
***
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
***
Do you understand my shallow thought?
***
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
- Because white makes you look fat.
***
The great Russian actress Alexandra Yablochkina was a girl until old age. Once she asked Ranevskaya how, in fact, they make love. After Ranevskaya's detailed story, Yablochkina exclaimed:
- God! And all this without anesthesia !!!
***
- Faina, - asks her old friend, - do you think medicine is making progress?
- But how. When I was young, I had to undress at the doctor's office every time, but now it is enough to show my tongue.
***
Once Ranevskaya demanded that Tanya Shcheglova, an engineer by profession, explain to her why the iron ships did not sink. Tanya tried to remind Ranevskaya of Archimedes' law.
- What are you, dear, I had a deuce, - Faina Georgievna complained absently.
- Why, when you sit in the bath, the water is forced out and poured onto the floor? - Tanya pressed.
- Because I have a big ass, - Ranevskaya answered sadly.
***
Why, Faina Georgievna, do you not put your signature on this play? You rewrote it almost anew for the author!
- And it suits me. I play the role of eggs: I participate, but I don't.
***
The fabric on Ranevskaya's skirt thinned out from long socks. Faina Georgievna, rather with pleasure than regret, states, looking at the hole: - Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty!
***
Our people are the most gifted, kind and conscientious. But almost somehow it turns out that all the time, about eighty percent, we are surrounded by idiots, scammers and creepy ladies without dogs. Trouble! "(From a notebook.)
***
Ranevskaya once said that according to the results of a study conducted among two thousand modern women, it turned out that twenty percent, i.e. every fifth, do not wear panties.
- Have mercy, Faina Georgievna, but where could this have been printed here?
- Nowhere. The data was obtained by me personally from a seller in a shoe store.
***
- How is smart different from wise? - asked Ranevskaya.
- A clever one knows how to get out of a difficult situation, but a wise one never gets into it.
***
Ranevskaya was asked:
- How can a person with whom a misfortune have been comforted?
- An intelligent person will be comforted when he realizes the inevitability of what has happened. The fool consoles himself that the same will happen to others.
***
- A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to be liked by stupid men, and stupid enough to be liked by smart men, - said Ranevskaya.
***
Once Ranevskaya was asked:
- Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?
- This is obvious - after all, there are very few blind men, and a dime a dozen stupid men.
***
- And you know, I don't like flowers. Trees are thinkers, and flowers are cocottes.
***
The boy said: "I am angry with Pushkin, the nanny told him fairy tales, and he wrote them down and passed them off as his own."
"Lovely!" - Ranevskaya conveyed what she heard. After a deep sigh, a continuation followed:
“But I'm afraid the boy is still a complete idiot.
***
It remained unclear whether it was a reservation or a joke:
- Why are all fools such women?
***
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on their wedding night, when they cheat on their husband for the first time, when they take money for the first time, when they give money for the first time.
- And the man?
- Two times: the first time - when the second cannot, the second - when the first cannot.
***
“Today I killed five flies,” said Ranevskaya. - Two males and three females.
- How did you define it?
- Two sat on a beer bottle, and three on a mirror.
***
In the presence of Ranevskaya, a conversation about modern youth once turned up
- You are right, - Faina Georgievna noted, - today's youth are terrible. But even more terrible is that we do not belong to it.
***
- Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth are not like anything! - complained Ranevskaya. Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, and now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.
***
- On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but when he is full, he cannot.
***
Ranevskaya loved to repeat: from life it is necessary, if possible, to eliminate everything for which money is needed. But with annoyance she added Balzac's aphorism: "Money is needed, even in order to do without it."
***
- Why are you playing for money?
- You can play for money in three cases: if there are abilities and money, if there is no money, but there are abilities, and if there are no abilities, but there is money.
***
- Nature has very carefully thought out the structure of our body, - Ranevskaya once philosophically remarked. - So that we can see how much we overeat, our belly is located on the same side of the body as our eyes.
***
- Faina Georgievna, do you think sitting in the toilet is mental work or physical?
- Of course, mental. If it was physical work, I would hire a person.
***
Oleg Dal told:
- The scene is being filmed on location. In an open field. Ranevskaya doesn’t care about her stomach. She retires to a green house somewhere on the horizon. There is no and no, no and no. Several times they sent to the brigade: did something happen? Ranevskaya responds, calms down, says that she is alive, and again she is still not there.
Finally she appears and majestically says: "Lord! Who would have thought that there is so much shit in a person!"
***
After the evening reading, the ersatz-grandson asked Ranevskaya:
- And how did Little Red Riding Hood know that it was not a grandmother, but a gray wolf, lying on the bed?
- It's very simple: the granddaughter counted the legs - the wolf has four legs, and the grandmother has only two. You see, Leshenka, how important it is to know arithmetic!
***
Once, when Ranevskaya was still living in the same apartment with the Wulfs, and little Alyosha was capricious at night and did not fall asleep, Pavel Leontyevna suggested:
- Maybe I'll sing him something?
- Well, why so immediately, - objected Ranevskaya. - Let's try again in an amicable way.
***
- Fufa! - wakes Ranevskaya ersatz-grandson. - It seems to me that somewhere a mouse squeaks ...
- Well, what do you want from me? So I can go grease it?
***
Ranevskaya explains to her grandson how the tale differs from the following:
- A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.
***
“You’re getting married, Alyoshenka, then you’ll understand what happiness is.
-Yes?
-- Yes. But it will be too late.
***
Erzats-grandson asks Fufa:
- What is it that you drink something from a bottle all the time, and then you squeak "pee-pee-pee"
- It is a medicine, - Ranevskaya answers. Can you read? Then read: "Take after meals."
77 gold quotes by Faina Ranevskaya
About women
When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at it. Faina Georgievna overheard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the painting did not impress him. Ranevskaya noted:
- This lady for so many centuries made the impression on such people that now she herself has the right to choose whom to impress her and who not!
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men
This ass is called "ass-play".
Which women do you think tend to be more loyal as brunette or blonde? "
Without hesitation, she answered: "Gray-haired!"
Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
Nothing can hold back the pressure of beauty! (Looking at the rip in her skirt)
The critics are Amazons in menopause.
When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
With such an ass you have to stay at home!
About health
To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - She usually replied: "No, I just look like that."
What I'm doing? I'm feigning health.
I feel, but bad.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but you can forget about it.
About old age
Old age is when it is not bad dreams that disturb you, but bad reality.
I'm like an old palm tree at a train station - no one needs me, but it's a pity to throw it away.
Old age is just disgusting. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age.
It's scary when you are eighteen inside, when you admire the beautiful music, poetry, painting, and you have to go, you didn’t have time to do anything, but you are just starting to live!
My God, as life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "She died of disgust."
Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake are more expensive than the cake itself, and half of the urine is used for tests.
About work
The money has been eaten, but the shame remains. (About his works in cinema)
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
When I am not given a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..
I, by virtue of the talent granted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
I have lived with many theaters, but I never enjoyed it.
This is the fourth time I have watched this film and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
Success is the only unforgivable sin towards your loved one.
How erroneous is the opinion that there are no irreplaceable actors.
We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play after that Ostrovsky!
I receive letters: "Help to become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
He will die from expanding fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
Pee-pee in a tram - everything he did in art.
I don't recognize the word "play". You can play cards, at races, checkers. You have to live on stage.
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, - demands the capricious young actress.
Everything will be real, - Ranevskaya soothes her. - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
About myself and life
All my life I have been swimming in the toilet with the butterfly style.
I'm a social psychopath. Komsomol member with an oar. You can touch me in the subway. It’s me standing there, half-bent over, in a bathing cap and brass panties, into which all the Octobrists are trying to get in. I work in the subway as a sculpture. I was polished with so many paws that even the great prostitute Nana could envy me.
The companion of glory is loneliness.
You need to live so that you are remembered by the bastards.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this very talent that made me unhappy. But the audience really does love? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the cinema, too, Gangsters.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God willing, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my chintz dresses cause widespread bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private houses. Everyone is saddened by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.
Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.
Damn nineteenth century, damn parenting: can't stand when men are sitting.
Life goes by and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
On different topics
Spelling mistakes in writing are like a bug on a white blouse.
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. And reality is when it's the other way around.
I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
The family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
Let it be a little gossip that must disappear between us.
I don't come across faces, but a personal insult.
So that we can see how much we overeat, our belly is located on the same side as our eyes.
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, is her husband.
It was always incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
Do you understand my shallow thought?
A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and the memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized: big trouble awaits us. (About Lenin)
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that has been lowered there.
"You will not believe, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except the groom."
- "Are you boasting, dear, or are you complaining?"
An employee of the Radio Committee N. constantly worried about dramas because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: she was crying because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him Ranevskaya called her "the victim of Hera Sima".
Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?
- It's obvious, because there are very few blind men, and a dime a dozen stupid men.
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on their wedding night, when they cheat on their husband for the first time, when they take money for the first time, when they give money for the first time.
And the man?
- Two times: the first time when the second cannot, the second when the first cannot.
Ranevskaya with all her household and huge luggage arrives at the station.
- It's a pity that we didn't take the piano, - says Faina Georgievna.
- Not funny, - one of the accompanying remarks.
- Really silly, - Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that
I left all the tickets on the piano.
Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. Mossovet, where she worked
Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya (and with whom she was far from
cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the actress: "Faina Georgievna,
you have devoured my entire directorial plan with your acting! "
the feeling that I ate shit! "- retorted Ranevskaya.
- Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you define it?
- Two sat on a beer bottle, and three on the mirror, - explained Faina Georgievna.
Walking down the street, Ranevskaya was pushed by some man, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you get home, your mother will jump out of the doorway and bite you properly.
The actors discuss at a troupe meeting a comrade who is accused of homosexuality:
"This is molestation of youth, this is a crime"
My God, an unhappy country where a person cannot dispose of his ass, Ranevskaya sighed.
"Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions," Ranevskaya strictly explains: "There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ice ballet."
Explaining to someone why the condom is white, Ranevskaya said:
"Because white makes you look fat."
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I have never cheated on my husband because I never had one, Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist.
So, the journalist is not lagging behind, it means that you have absolutely no shortcomings?
In general, no, Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity.
And after a short pause, she added:
True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!
