Franevskaya's expressions. SFW - jokes, humor, girls, accidents, cars, celebrity photos and much more. Ranevskaya's statements about old age
On July 19, the outstanding actress Faina Ranevskaya died. The audience remembers her not only for her wonderful films, but also for her sparkling quotes. We remembered the most popular sayings of Faina Ranevskaya.
About women and love
"God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men."
Which women do you think tend to be more fidelity brunette or blonde? Without hesitation, she answered: “Gray-haired!”
“Women are smarter, of course. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
“The pressure of beauty can not be restrained by anything!” (Looking at the hole in her skirt)
“- You won’t believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom. “Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?”
“The second half is only in the brain, in the ass and in the pill. And I’m whole from the beginning.”
“A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband."
"Kritikess - Amazons in menopause".
"Why are all the fools such women?"
About health
To the question: “Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?” - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."
"What I'm doing? I simulate health.
"I feel good, but not well."
"Health is when you have pain in a different place every day."
"If the patient really wants to live, the doctors are powerless."
"Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten."
About work
“I’ll get the money, but the shame will remain” - Ranevskaya’s answer to the offer to star in some kind of picture.
"Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity."
“When they don’t give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.”
"I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage."
“I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! .. "
“I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.”
“I’m watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!”
"Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one."
"How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors."
I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".
"Wee-wee in a tram is all he did in art."
“I do not recognize the word “play”. You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage."
About life
"The satellite of glory is loneliness."
“You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards.”
"Life goes by and doesn't bow like an angry neighbor."
"Optimism is a lack of information."
About myself
"All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke."
"I was smart enough to live my life stupidly."
“- Faina Georgievna, how are you? - Do you know, my dear, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.
"Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting."
"I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away."
“I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.”
“My funeral personal belongings” - Faina Georgievna said about her awards
Faina Ranevskaya's quotes have been immensely popular since Soviet times. This outstanding theater and film actress, for her long life, and she lived for 87 years, managed to do a lot. And more to say.
It should be noted that almost every one of her sayings or quotes is a unique, accurate and funny aphorism. Read this collection and see for yourself.
Quotes and aphorisms of Faina Ranevskaya
And statements by Faina Ranevskaya far from always distinguished by delicacy or accuracy in the selection of images or expressions. But what exactly you can be sure of is the absolute accuracy of Ranevskaya's statements. Most of them always hit right on target.
We offer you a wonderful selection of selected quotes and aphorisms from one of the most famous women of the twentieth century.
Ranevskaya's statements about women
When the Sistine Madonna was brought to Moscow, everyone went to look at it. Faina Georgievna heard a conversation between two officials from the Ministry of Culture. One claimed that the picture did not impress him. Ranevskaya remarked:
- This lady for so many centuries on such people made the impression that now she herself has the right to choose whom she impresses and who not!
God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so they could love men.
Such an ass is called "ass-playing".
Which women do you think tend to be more fidelity brunette or blonde?
Without hesitation, she replied: Grey-haired.
Kritikess - Amazons in menopause.
When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.
With such an ass, you should stay at home!
Do not have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
Ranevskaya's statements about health
To the question: "Are you sick, Faina Georgievna?" - she usually answered: "No, I just look like that."
What I'm doing? I pretend to be healthy.
I feel myself, but not well.
My favorite disease, - said Ranevskaya, - scabies: it scratched and I still want to. And the most hated is hemorrhoids: neither to see for yourself, nor to show people.
Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
Ranevskaya's statements about old age
Old age is when it's not bad dreams that bother you, but bad reality.
I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!
My God, how life slipped by, I never even heard the nightingales sing.
Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life - it means that life is coming to an end.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
Old age is the time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.
Ranevskaya's statements about work
The money is eaten, but the shame remains. (About his work in cinema)
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
When they don't give me a role, I feel like a pianist whose hands have been cut off.
I am Stanislavsky's miscarriage.
I am a local actress. Where I just did not serve! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve!
I, by virtue of the talent allotted to me, squeaked like a mosquito.
I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before!
Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.
How wrong is the notion that there are no irreplaceable actors.
We were accustomed to single-celled words, scant thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
Perpetum male. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
He will die from the expansion of fantasy. (About director Y. Zavadsky)
Pee-pee in a tram is all he did in art.
I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
The pearls that I will wear in the first act must be real, the capricious young actress demands.
Everything will be real, - Ranevskaya reassures her - Everything: pearls in the first act, and poison in the last.
Ranevskaya's statements about herself and life
All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
Companion of glory - loneliness.
You have to live in such a way that even the bastards remember you.
I was smart enough to live my life stupidly.
Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy. But do the audience really love it? What's the matter? Why is it so hard in the theater? In the movies, too, Gangsters.
In Moscow, you can go out into the street dressed as God wills, and no one will pay attention. In Odessa, my print dresses cause general bewilderment - this is discussed in hairdressing salons, dental outpatient clinics, trams, and private homes. Everyone is upset by my monstrous "stinginess" - for no one believes in poverty.
Loneliness is a condition that cannot be cured.
Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
Ranevskaya's statements on various topics
Spelling errors in a letter are like bed bugs on a white blouse.
Beautiful people shit too.
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
I spoke long and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
Family replaces everything. Therefore, before you start it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
Optimism is a lack of information.
Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.
I don't see faces, but personal insults.
So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.
It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
Do you understand my shallow thought?
A child from the first grade of school must be taught the science of loneliness.
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
You know, when I saw this bald man on an armored car, I realized that we were in big trouble. (About Lenin)
This is not a room. This is a real well. I feel like a bucket that was dropped there.
"You won't believe it, Faina Georgievna, but no one has kissed me yet, except for the groom."
- "Are you boasting, my dear, or are you complaining?"
An employee of the Radio Committee N constantly experienced drama because of her love relationship with a colleague, whose name was Sima: either she sobbed because of another quarrel, then he left her, then she had an abortion from him Ranevskaya called her "HeraSima's victim".
Once Ranevskaya was asked: Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?
- It's obvious because there are very few blind men, and stupid men are a dime a dozen.
How many times does a woman blush in her life?
- Four times: on the wedding night, when she cheats on her husband for the first time, when she takes money for the first time, when she gives money for the first time.
And the man?
- Twice: the first time when the second cannot, the second when the first cannot.
Ranevskaya with all her family and huge luggage arrives at the station.
- It's a pity that we didn't take the piano, - says Faina Georgievna.
“Not witty,” one of the escorts remarks.
- Really not witty, - Ranevskaya sighs. - The fact is that
I left all the tickets on the piano.
Once Yuri Zavadsky, artistic director of the Theater. Moscow City Council, where she worked
Faina Georgievna Ranevskaya (and with whom she had far from
cloudless relationship), shouted in the heat of the actress: "Faina Georgievna,
you gobbled up my whole directorial idea with your game! "" That's what I have
the feeling that I ate shit!" Ranevskaya retorted.
Today I killed 5 flies: two males and three females.
- How did you define it?
- Two were sitting on a beer bottle, and three on a mirror, - Faina Georgievna explained.
Some man pushed Ranevskaya walking down the street, and even cursed with dirty words. Faina Georgievna told him:
- For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke anymore and I never cheated on my husband because I never had one, ”Ranevskaya said, anticipating possible questions from the journalist.
- So, the journalist does not lag behind, so you don’t have any shortcomings at all?
- In general, no, - Ranevskaya answered modestly, but with dignity.
And after a short pause she added:
- True, I have a big ass and sometimes I lie a little!
We hope that Faina Ranevskaya quotes liked you, and you learned something new about this amazing woman. Share this selection of aphorisms on social networks, and if you love development, creativity and life, subscribe to. Develop with us!
Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!
You are still young and look great.
- I can not answer you with the same compliment!
- And you would, like me, lied!
Women are smarter than men. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
The second half is in the brain, assholes and pills. And I am whole.
That blind man to whom you gave the coin is not pretending, he really does not see.
- Why did you decide so?
- He told you: “Thank you, beauty!”
Faina Ranevskaya was at the wedding of friends. When a pigeon shitted on the groom's shoulder, she said:
- Here are the newlyweds, the dove is a symbol of the fact that your freedom has flown away and spoiled goodbye.
What will you be able to see in, Faina Georgievna?
- In a coffin!
Now, when a person is embarrassed to say that he does not want to die, he says this: he really wants to survive in order to see what happens next. As if if it were not for this, he would immediately be ready to lie down in the coffin.
Faina Georgievna, what does a woman look like if you put her upside down?
- To the piggy bank.
- And the man?
- On a hanger.
If a woman walks with her head down, she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head held high, she has a lover! If a woman keeps her head straight - she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has a lover!
My life is terribly sad. And you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you.
I, like eggs, participate, but do not enter.
My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched myself and still want to. And the most hated is hemorrhoids: neither to see for yourself, nor to show people.
A real man is a man who remembers a woman's birthday exactly and never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers a woman's birthday but knows exactly how old she is is her husband.
All my life I've been swimming in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
Have you ever been told that you look like Brigitte Bardot?
- No never.
- And rightly so, that they did not say.
If you get married, Alyoshenka, then you will understand what happiness is. But it will be too late.
Your weather upset me, our planet has a clear menopause, because the planet is a lady!
When I was 20 years old, I only thought about love. Now I just like to think.
Why are all women so stupid?
Damned nineteenth century, damned upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.
On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
I love nature.
"And this after what she did to you?"
(To the question which women tend to be more fidelity - brunettes or blondes?)
Gray-haired!
Think and say what you will about me. Where have you seen a cat who would be interested in what the mice say about her?
People are like candles, they either burn or fuck them.
Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
If I often looked into the eyes of Gioconda, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, and I know nothing about her.
Such an ass is called "ass-playing" (About a passing lady)
A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
There are two, maybe three thoughts in my old head, but at times they raise such a fuss that it seems there are thousands of them.
For a long time they didn’t tell me that I’m a whore. Losing popularity.
A very slender woman is sitting in my fat body, but she does not manage to get out. And given my appetite, it looks like a life sentence for her.
Optimism is a lack of information.
All my life I've been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without going down to their level.
Disgraceful passport data. I looked at my passport, saw what year I was born, and just gasped.
Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
This actress's ass hangs and dangles like a hussar's bag.
And with such an ass, you should stay at home! (About a passing lady)
What I'm doing? I pretend to be healthy.
There are people who just want to approach and ask if it is difficult to live without brains.
I get letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!"
Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
If you have a person to whom you can tell dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely ...
She doesn't have a face, but a hoof.
Nobody kissed me except the groom!
- one young actress said proudly to Ranevskaya.
“My dear, I don’t understand,” Faina Georgievna replied, “are you bragging or complaining?”
Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.
Yesterday I was visiting N. And I sang for them for two hours ...
- That's what they need! I can't stand them either!
It's hard to be a genius among goats.
For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
A woman to succeed in life must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and stupid enough to please smart men.
You can not understand in any way whether you like a young man? Spend an evening with him. Returning home - undress. Throw your underpants up to the ceiling. stuck? So you like it.
Well, I come across faces, not faces, but a personal insult!
Only ugly people are always jealous of their husbands, my dears, but we beauties are not up to it, we are jealous of strangers.
Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
Epicurus said - he lived well who hid well.
I was at the theater yesterday, - said Ranevskaya.
- The actors played so badly, especially Desdemona, that when Othello strangled her, the audience applauded for a very long time.
Oh, those insufferable journalists! Half of the lies they spread about me are not true.
When a jumper has pain in her legs, she jumps while sitting.
Does it bother you that I smoke? (When the theater administrator saw her completely naked in the dressing room.)
Why are beautiful women more successful than smart ones?
- It's obvious - after all, there are very few blind men, and stupid men are a dime a dozen.
Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex is rotten boards.
Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity.
Do not have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
Well, this one, like her ... So broad-shouldered in the ass ...
I don't drink, I don't smoke anymore and I never cheated on my husband - because I never had one.
“So what do you mean, you don’t have any flaws at all?”
- In general, no. True, I have a big ass and sometimes I cheat a little ...
Kritikess - Amazons in menopause.
Loneliness is when there is a telephone at home, and only the alarm clock rings.
Pioneers, join hands and go to hell! (When the Timurov pioneers came to her home to help her like an elderly person)
What is the most difficult for you?
- Oh, I do the hardest before breakfast.
- And what is it?
- I get out of bed.
Was today at the doctor "ear-throat-ass".
Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! Too bad they're gone now. (About a recently deceased actress friend)
What is the world? How many idiots around, how fun they are!
This lady has been admiring humanity for so many centuries that she can already choose for herself whom she impresses. (To the expressed opinion "The Sistine Madonna does not impress me.")
The bell does not work, when you come, knock with your feet.
- Why feet?
- But you're not going to come empty-handed!
My dear, such a nightmare! My head hurts, my teeth go to hell, my heart aches, I cough terribly, my liver, kidneys, stomach - everything aches! My joints aches, I can hardly walk... Thank God I'm not a man, otherwise it would be impotence!
If a person has done evil to you, give him candy. He is evil to you, you are candy to him. And so on until this creature develops diabetes.
There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
Beautiful people shit too.
I now understand why condoms are white! They say white makes you fat...
They say that this performance is not a success with the audience?
- Well, that's putting it mildly, - said Ranevskaya.
- Yesterday I called the box office and asked when the show started.
- So what?
- They answered me: “And when will it be convenient for you?”
I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
Pipi in the tram - everything he did in art!
- a famous and popular Soviet theater and film actress. Today, many critics and journalists consider her one of the greatest Russian actresses of the 20th century. She has about 30 films and countless performances to her credit. In 1992, the English encyclopedia "Who's Who" included her in the list of the ten most outstanding actresses of the 20th century.
But there is another distinguishing feature by which the actress was remembered by millions - these are the sayings, quotes and aphorisms of Ranevskaya. They instantly became winged and dispersed throughout the country and beyond. And even many years after years, after she was gone, these words do not lose their relevance! 
We present you the best phrases and quotes by Faina Ranevskaya. There are more than a hundred of them:
1. I do not know how to express strong feelings, although I can express myself strongly.
2. Family replaces everything. Therefore, before starting it, you should think about what is more important to you: everything or family.
3. I noticed that if you do not eat bread, sugar, fatty meat, do not drink beer with fish, the muzzle becomes smaller, but sadder.
4. My favorite disease is scabies: I scratched myself and still want to. And the most hated is hemorrhoids: neither to see for yourself, nor to show people.
5. Ladies, don't lose weight. Do you need it? It’s better to be a ruddy donut in old age than a dried monkey!
6. Loneliness is when there is a telephone in the house, and the alarm clock rings.
7. All my life I have swum in the toilet with a butterfly stroke.
8. The soul is not an ass, it cannot shit.
9. In old age, the main thing is a sense of dignity, but I was deprived of it.
10. I was smart enough to live my life stupidly. I live only by myself - what self-restraint.
11. We were accustomed to single-celled words, scanty thoughts, play Ostrovsky after that!
12. On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
13. If the patient really wants to live, doctors are powerless.
14. It is very difficult to be a genius among boogers.
15. Horseradish, put on the opinions of others, provides a calm and happy life.
16. 85 years old with diabetes is not sugar.
17. I wish I had her legs - she had lovely legs! Too bad they're gone now.
18. A fairy tale is when he married a frog, and she turned out to be a princess. A true story is when the opposite is true.
19. Tolstoy said that there is no death, but there is love and memory of the heart. The memory of the heart is so painful, it would be better if it did not exist ... It would be better to kill the memory forever.
20. Let idiots and clowns out of your life. The circus must tour.
21. Companion of glory - loneliness.
22. Getting old is boring, but it's the only way to live long.
23. Nothing but despair from the inability to change anything in my destiny.
24. Underneath the most beautiful peacock tail is the most common chicken ass. So less pathos, gentlemen.
25. I hate when bl @ d pretends to be innocence!
26. Do you understand my shallow thought?
27. You need to live in such a way that you are remembered even by bastards.
28. Who would know my loneliness? Damn him, this same talent that made me unhappy ...
29. All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without falling to their level.
30. Understand once and for all that the character of your woman is a reflection of your attitude towards her. For the dumb: it's not her bitch, it's you asshole.
31. I am like eggs: I participate, but I do not enter.
32. I hate cynicism for its public accessibility.
33. Why are all fools such women?
34. Eating alone is as unnatural as shitting together!
35. So that we can see how much we overeat, our stomach is located on the same side as the eyes.
36. Talent is like a wart - you either have it or you don't.
37. What kind of world? How many idiots around, how fun they are!
38. It has always been incomprehensible to me - people are ashamed of poverty and not ashamed of wealth.
39. A woman, in order to succeed in life, must have two qualities. She must be smart enough to please stupid men, and 40. stupid enough to please smart men.
41. If a woman tells a man that he is the smartest, then she understands that she will not find another such fool.
42. God made women beautiful so that men could love them, and stupid so that they could love men.
43. Life passes and does not bow like an angry neighbor.
44. Pioneers, go to hell.
45. Many complain about their appearance, and no one complains about their brains.
46. Terribly sad my life ... and you want me to stick a lilac bush in my ass and do a striptease in front of you!
47. God seems to love the sufferers. Have you ever seen a happy genius? No, everyone was ruffled by life, like a blade of grass in the wind. Happiness is a concept for average citizens in all respects, and there is no justice here.
48. Loneliness as a condition is not treatable.
49. Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
50. There are two, at most three thoughts in my old head, but at times they raise such a fuss that it seems there are thousands of them.
51. You can't learn to be an artist. You can develop your talent, learn to speak, express yourself, but to shock - no. To do this, one must be born with the nature of an actor.
52. Do you know what it's like to act in films? Imagine that you are washing in a bathhouse, and a tour is being led there.
53. Success is the only unforgivable sin in relation to your loved one.
54. Life is a long jump from n * zdy to the grave.
55. Making a bad movie is like spitting into eternity!
56. Honey, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.
57. There is such love that it is better to immediately replace it with execution.
58. For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you in the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
59. I'm like an old palm tree at the station - no one needs it, but it's a pity to throw it away.
60. No one, except for dead leaders, wants to endure my idly dangling breasts.
61. I spoke for a long time and unconvincingly, as if I were talking about the friendship of peoples.
62. Women are not the weaker sex, the weaker sex is rotten boards.
63. For an actress, there are no disadvantages if it is necessary for the role.
64. If I often looked into the eyes of Gioconda, I would go crazy: she knows everything about me, and I know nothing about her.
65. I can't eat meat. It walked, loved, looked ... Maybe I'm a psychopath? No, I consider myself a normal psychopath. But I can't eat meat. I keep meat for people.
66. The second half is in the brain, ass and pills. And I am whole.
67. A child from the first grade of school should be taught the science of loneliness.
68. Loneliness is a state about which there is no one to tell.
69. When I start writing memoirs, beyond the phrase: “I was born in the family of a poor oilman ...”, - nothing works out for me.
70. Spelling errors in a letter are like a bug on a white blouse.
71. Sclerosis cannot be cured, but it can be forgotten.
72. Thoughts are drawn to the beginning of life, which means that life is coming to an end.
73. To get recognition - it is necessary, even necessary, to die.
74. Lesbianism, homosexuality, masochism, sadism are not perversions. There are, in fact, only two perversions: field hockey and ballet on ice.
75. Beautiful people shit too.
76. There are people who just want to approach and ask if it is difficult to live without brains.
77. Now I looked at the photo for a long time - the eyes of the dog are surprisingly humane. I love them, they are smart and kind, but people make them evil.
78. My God, how old I am - I still remember decent people!
79. Women die later than men because they are always late.
80. I do not recognize the word "play". You can play cards, horse races, checkers. You have to live on the stage.
81. I'm tired of pretending to be healthy.
82. Do you know, honey, what is shit? So it is in comparison with my life - jam.
83. They haven't told me for a long time that I'm fucking. Losing popularity.
84. Everything pleasant in this world is either harmful, or immoral, or leads to obesity.
85. Life is too short to spend it on diets, greedy men and bad moods.
86. The main thing is to live a living life, and not to fumble through the back streets of memory.
87. My God, an unfortunate country where a person cannot dispose of his ass.
88. Men from the beginning of days to their end are drawn for a boob.
89. I hate you. Wherever I go, everyone looks around and says: “Look, this is Mulya, don’t annoy me, she’s coming.”
90. You can't fart happily with a sad ass.
91. Everyone is free to dispose of his ass as he wants. So I pick mine up and fuck.
92. There are no fat women, there are small clothes.
93. When I die, bury me and write on the monument: "Died of disgust."
94. Either I'm getting old and stupid, or today's youth is not like anything! Before, I just didn’t know how to answer their questions, and now I don’t even understand what they are asking about.
95. I don't get along with life! Money interferes with me both when it is not there and when it is.
96. I receive letters: "Help me become an actor." I answer: "God will help!".
97. Cinema is a barefoot establishment.
98. How I envy the brainless!
99. Old age is a time when candles on a birthday cake cost more than the cake itself, and half of the urine goes to tests.
100. There are a million fans, but there is no one to go to the pharmacy.
101. There are people in whom God lives; There are people in whom the devil lives; And there are people that live only worms.
102. When a jumper's legs hurt, she jumps while sitting.
103. Women are, of course, smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?
104. Pee-wee in a tram - all he did in art.
105. I feel myself, but badly.
106. Health is when you have pain in a different place every day.
107. He has a voice - as if pissing in a zinc bucket.
108. Talent is self-doubt and painful dissatisfaction with yourself and your shortcomings, which I have never seen in mediocrity.
109. I am watching this film for the fourth time and I must tell you that today the actors played like never before.
110. I am a provincial actress. Wherever I served! Only in the city of Vezdesransk did not serve! ..
111. If you have a person to whom you can tell dreams, you have no right to consider yourself lonely ...
112. Cursed nineteenth century, cursed upbringing: I can't stand when men are sitting.
113. Oh, those obnoxious journalists! Half of the lies they spread about me are not true.
114. People are like candles: they either burn or fuck them up.
115. Let it be a little gossip that should disappear between us.
116. He will die from the expansion of fantasy.
117. I lived with many theaters, but never enjoyed it.
118. Life is a short walk before eternal sleep.
119. Old age is not bad dreams, but bad reality.
120. It is better to be a good person, "swearing" than a quiet, well-mannered creature.
121. I am already so old that I began to forget my own memoirs.
122. In the theater, talented people loved me, mediocre people hated me, mongrels bit me and tore me to pieces.
123. March 8 is my personal disaster. With each postcard in flowers and bows, I pull out a tuft of hair from grief that I was not born a man.
124. Everything will come true, one has only to lose desire ...
125. Do not have a hundred rubles, but have two breasts!
126. Old age is just disgusting. I believe that this is the ignorance of God when he allows you to live to old age. Lord, everyone is already gone, but I still live. Birman - and she died, and I did not expect this from her. It’s scary when you’re eighteen inside, when you admire beautiful music, poetry, painting, and it’s time for you, you haven’t done anything, but you’re just starting to live!
127. A person's passport is his misfortune, because a person must always be eighteen, and a passport only reminds you that you can live like an eighteen year old.
128. The union of a stupid man and a stupid woman creates a mother-heroine. The union of a stupid woman and a smart man creates a single mother. The union of a smart woman and a stupid man gives rise to an ordinary family. The union of a smart man and a smart woman gives rise to easy flirting.
Her famous humor - caustic, very precise and almost always cynical - has long been considered a classic. We use her expressions without even suspecting who owns the "copyright" on them.
1. Annoying fans
Phrase: "Pioneera, go to ** pu!"
Faina Georgievna was terribly annoyed when, seeing her on the street, passers-by (especially children) began to shout: “Mulya, don’t make me nervous!” One day, a crowd of schoolchildren surrounded her, joyfully chanting the famous phrase from "The Foundling." Then Ranevskaya said in her hearts: “Pioneers, go to ** ny!”
A similar fate befell the Timurovites, who came home to the actress with an offer to help with the housework. "PionEra! Join hands - and go to ** poo! she said and slammed the door.
By the way, once for the love of a joke about Mulya, even Brezhnev got it. He could not resist and repeated it, pinning the Order of Lenin to Ranevskaya’s chest, to which he received an angry rebuke: “Leonid Ilyich, that’s what boys or hooligans call me!” “Forgive me, but I love you very much,” the Secretary General was embarrassed.
Which heroine of Soviet cinema are you? - take the test and find out >>
2. Against pathos
Phrase: "Under every peacock's tail lies a chicken ** pa"
This aphorism is perhaps the most famous among Ranevskaya's statements: “Under the most beautiful peacock tail lies the most ordinary chicken ** pa. So less pathos, gentlemen!"
Very few people managed to express their attitude to life, to colleagues and to themselves so accurately. By the way, recently, during another Twitter scandal, this expression was addressed to TV presenter Ksenia Sobchak, who had previously used Ranevskaya's aphorism about pionEras to journalists. In general, with the help of the exchange of well-aimed phrases by Faina Georgievna, a new round of Sobchak's loud quarrel with the paparazzi was avoided. At least for now.
3. About freedom of choice
Phrase: "Everyone is free to dispose of his ** sing as he wants"
In general, the obscene word of four letters was one of Faina Georgievna's favorites. Once she answered this to a certain meticulous journalist: “I am not shy about Mata. And in my vocabulary, my favorite word is “** pa”, and not “excellent”.
Ranevskaya proved this at a party meeting in the theater, where one of the actors, suspected of homosexual relationships, was ardently branded for unworthy behavior of a Soviet art worker. “Everyone is free to dispose of his ** sing as he wants,” said the artist. “So I pick mine up and fuck off!”
4. With criticism in life
The phrase: “Do you know, my dear, what shit is? ... So, compared to my life, it is jam.”
So summed up Ranevskaya. Until a very old age, she remained in demand in cinema and theater, the roles she created, including episodic ones, were quoted and loved by the Soviet audience. At the same time, the inconsistency of character led to the fact that Faina Georgievna lived in complete solitude - not counting her beloved mongrel named Boy and the Siamese cat Tiki.
5. Sisters in mind
Phrase: "Why are all women such fools?"
The answer to this question can be found in the book of the same name. Its authorship is attributed to Ranevskaya, but this still raises fair doubts among many. Although, knowing the mocking disposition of Faina Georgievna, it would be quite logical to assume that the catchphrase belongs to her.
The sharp-tongued actress did not spare anyone, and the fair sex - including: “All my life I have been terribly afraid of stupid people. Especially grandma. You never know how to talk to them without sinking to their level.”
6. About shapes...
Phrase: “With this ** sing, you have to stay at home!”
Speaking of the criticism that Ranevskaya brought down on her compatriots. Faina Georgievna rarely hesitated to openly discuss someone's appearance - even her own, even passers-by.
Once, watching a lady passing by, the actress - either caustically or approvingly - said: “This is called“ ** pa-playing ”.
But another passerby got from Ranevskaya in full. “And with such a ** sing it was necessary to stay at home!” - sharply threw the actress.
7. ... and content
Phrase: "If you only knew how much shit there is in a person!"
Once, during the filming of the next film outside the city, Ranevskaya suffered a serious stomach upset.
Tired of the long wait, the members of the film crew already suspected that something irreparable had happened when the door of the wooden toilet flung open and Faina Georgievna came out. "You are my brothers! – said the actress. “If you only knew how much shit a person has…”
8. Your take on official art
Phrase: "It's some kind of refrigerator with a beard!"
In the 60s of the last century, a monument to Karl Marx was erected on Theater Square in Moscow. Obviously, Ranevskaya did not like the proximity of the bronze figure to the Bolshoi Theater.
When the actress was asked if she had seen the monument to the great author of Capital, she raised her eyebrows in surprise and clarified: “Do you mean this refrigerator with a beard that was recently placed at the Bolshoi Theater?”
9. In any awkward situation
Phrase: “Does it shock you that I smoke?”
Once, one of the theater employees ran into Ranevskaya's dressing room on some super-important matter. What he saw there made the hurried man literally lose the power of speech: Faina Georgievna was smoking by the window completely naked. “My dear, is it not shocking that I smoke?” - innocently asked the actress, turning to the intruder and not making the slightest attempt to hide behind.
10. Delicate but far
Phrase: "I hope your mother bites you in the alley"
The bawdy expressions of Ranevskaya, of course, were not an indicator of a lack of culture. On the contrary, they were a challenge to inertia, one might say, a small performance on her part. And when Faina Georgievna encountered rudeness on the street, she knew how to keep her face and choose her words.
Once, on one of the Moscow streets, an already middle-aged actress was pushed by a certain young man. Almost knocking Ranevskaya down, he not only did not apologize, but also cursed obscenely at her.
At first, the artist was taken aback, but soon she quickly found herself and threw after the rude man: “For a number of reasons, I cannot now answer you with the words you use. But I sincerely hope that when you return home, your mother will jump out of the gateway and bite you properly.
Dmitry Kovalchuk swore
